Hi guys! recently i started feeling really depressed because I'm lonely and cant find a boyfriend as most gay guys are only looking for sex and im also unatractive Whenever i walk on the street and see happy couples holding hands and kissing i feel so down, like I just want to end this. I see a girl with her boyfriend and hes so caring and protecting of her... this is never going happen to me... I dont know if gay love can even look like that, I just wish i was normal. And even if i finally had a bf I still probably couldnt just walk on the street and hold hands because of stupid society... this is slowly killing me... All i want is to find a partner, be FREE and happy and I cant even get a stupid thing like that. To make things worse i live in a small town and dont know any gay people (except one but hes taken and not my type) and whenever i use dating sites all i see is guys looking for c2c, sex or "mates" :tears: There really is no hope is there?
I'm in the same boat. All of the gay boys around here are rude, cocky, and superficial. I can't STAND people like that, but I'm keeping my head up because I know I'll meet someone some day who will love me for me - and you'll meet one too. Keep looking, you'll meet someone someday x
First off, welcome to EC! I'm sorry that you are feeling down, but there is definitely hope out there. I know it seems bad right now, but its not nearly as bad as you picture it "Gay" love is just like any other love. You can find the person who you are looking for and have the relationship you want. Yes, it might be harder since people tend to come out later in life which means you might have to wait longer to meet more gay guys that you can connect with. And when you find him, if you want, you can walk holding hands and hugging your boyfriend. You might get weird looks and some people might say shit, but its possible! I do it all the time with my boyfriend. If we are at the mall and we want to hold hands then we do so. And you will be surprise by the amount of random people that go up to you and say the most awesome of things. Its really not all that bad I know that the feeling of being alone sucks, but try not to concentrate on what you don't have. Instead of doing that, go ahead and concentrate on friends, hobbies, family or anything else that makes you happy. Give your energy into that, get good at what you want to do and enjoy your life as single. There is PLENTY of time for you to get a relationship. Feel better (*hug*)
Another thing to keep in mind is that homosexuals make up about 4-5% of the population, depending on where you live. We're not a common breed, so finding someone is just that much more difficult. Patience is a necessity.
I know exactly how you feel. But like The Edend says, focus on what you have rather than what you don't have. Look at Shakespeare's sonnet 116. It talks about true and constant love, and how that kind of love is "not Time's fool". True love has its own timetable. It won't be there at your beck and call. You have to let it happen. All the straight couples you see who are in really good relationships that have lasted for ages and ages probably found it difficult to start with, like you. The easy 'relationships,' whether they're straight or gay, are wholly transient; that is to say, they won't last. You'll find someone better and longer lasting than them. It's worth playing the long game because in the end, you'll always win. If this sounds like it's coming from someone who's in a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship - it's not! I am still very much single, as of writing! I won't believe that I will remain single forever until the day I die! Get better soon! (*hug*) If nothing else, don't be jealous. It's not worth it because it eats you up. Life has a way of making things right at the right time. It's just not that time yet. Laters! Dr. F.
I sometimes feel the same way, but then I remember how much more miserable I was when I pretended to be straight. At least now I'm true to myself and thus willing to wait for the perfect guy to come along. Don't give up hope, you can always come here for support!
There is always hope. Never give up hope. How old are you? Remember that if you're in your teens, there are lots of straight people who still haven't found true love either. True love is a lot more elusive than it appears to be on TV and in the movies. Also remember that you're not seeing every single person paired up with someone and clearly in love. You're not noticing the people on the street who aren't holding someone's hand. They're walking along, just like you. So you're not alone in being 'alone'. If you're in high school, remember that your world opens up immensely when you go off to school or enter the working world. You'll meet new people who come from different places and have different interests. You're going to be more likely to meet someone who is gay and who shares some of your interests or ambitions. The more 'out' you are the better your chances of meeting someone else - offline from those sites. Welcome to EC, and keep posting. By hanging out here you won't feel as lonely any more.
Of course there is hope ! It's not because straight couples are more visible in everyday life that happy gay couples don't exist ! Love is the same powerful and beautiful feeling for everyone, whether you're gay, straight or bisexual. I know plenty of straight couples who are in miserable relationships and plenty of gay people who are in happy relationships (the opposite being true too). That's the people involved in the relationship who are making it happy or miserable and this has nothing to do with the people being gay, straight or bi. This has to do with people being self-confident or not, honest or not, able to communicate with each other or not, abusive or not, and with the chemistry that results from the mixture... or not. You don't choose love, love chooses you. Some people who seem to be made for each other may never get the little sparkle that changes friendly feelings into love, and people nobody in their right mind would ever have associated sometimes get thunderstruck by love. Why ? Nobody knows. How and when you're going to fall in love, I can't tell. How and when someone you'll love is going to return you the feelings, I can't tell either. But there is one thing I know for sure, if you're going through life with a smile and an open heart, that's more likely to happen that if you seem to be bitter and angry. Take care (*hug*) Cécile
Thank you guys for all these nice words! Someone skaed how old i am.. I'm 20 and still a virgin :icon_redf Another thing thats difficult for me is that im also quiet girly in my personality and tastes... so thats another thing that makes thing more difficult as gays usually want a manly man which im not...
Im a lesbian and in an awesome 6 year relationship and Im jealous of straight couples, they get to propose to their partners in front of people,their parents and family accept them, their parents don't say. me accepting you ever having kids would be like me accepting a parent of a child whos an alcoholic or drug dealer.And of course you know Im not gonna treat the kids as good as I do your nephews.And I have to refer to my freakin fiancée as my "friend", to extended family.They can hold hands, kiss, have their kids with them without people looking at them strange. They don't have so called "Christians" running up to them and asking, are you saved? Because the straight people look at me or my girl and think..yeah they probably don't know Christ,even though me and her are Christians. ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 07:13 PM ---------- Buddy try meeting a new guy online, I cant believe that ALL gay guys are about messing around, check out a gay Christian chat and see, google, gay Christian network,aka gcn. Listen to sermons at life journey church.cc with reverend jeff miner, you may find some good or at least trying to be good guys on those chat rooms.i met my partner online..so it can work out.
