Just a heads up, this is kind of a rant but here goes. I was raised in a supportive family, never head any major issues with my folks, high school was pretty great for me, college (for the most part) has been even better, but for what ever reasons I've been super depressed lately. It kinda started back in Febraury, but I figured that was just do to stress, as spring break got closer, my emotions got stronger, overwhelmed, stressed out, sad then the next moment super happy and excited, I thought I just needed a break and that once I went home for two weeks, everything would be better, it didn't though. My break was great, didn't accomplish much, but caught up on sleep and relaxed. I got back to school and was happy to get away from my parents (who I love dearly, but I prefer living not at home) and saw my friends, but my depressed feelings came back in full force (I don't think the ever really went away when I was at home.) I'll be fine one minute then be struck by this wicked intense feeling of being overwhelmed. I have no movitation, I sometimes don't see a point to life and I just don't care about anything any more. Its really frusterating because I used to be such a happy, go lucky, I can do anything I put my mind too kid. I was always full of life and energy. I want to be that person now, but sometimes I feel like I'm struggling to stay alive, let alone be the goofy person a once was. I'll be back to my normal self for a few hours, sometimes a day, but then in the blink of an eye I'll want to cry my eyes out. I don't sleep, sometimes I can't, sometimes I feel like I just don't need to. I want to say I would never end my life on purpose, but I feel that I don't even know what I'm capable of anymore. Sometimes I feel that I don't have control over my emotions, which I know is actually true, you always have control, but it's look I'm outside my own body, making myself do stupid things. My friends know something is going on, but I can't/don't want to figure out the words to tell them what, I don't think they'd understand, I'm often scared to be alone for fear of what I might try and do. I know I should talk to someone, my friends want me to go to the school counselor, but I just feel weird about talking to someone I don't know and honestly, I'm not really convinced it'll help. I scared, I'm frusterated and I don't know what to do. Sorry for this being so long, I guess this isn't really asking for help, more of I needed to say it all someone and don't know to who.
Hey andersonh09, I noticed no one responded to you, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I think you should see a doctor. You're attempting to diagnose yourself with depression, but really it could be something completely different. Your emotions are regulated by chemicals in your brain, and the constant mood swings you're having - these extreme highs and lows - might be a sign of some type of chemical or hormonal imbalance. You really want to get this checked out. Something's not right, you feel it, you notice it, and now you have to take some action to put yourself back on the right track. The first step is to speak to a doctor. All you really have to say is, "Hey Doc, I've been having these crazy emotional highs and lows. It's been going on for several months. One minute I feel like my normal self, and then an hour or so later, I start to feel really depressed. I can tell that something is definitely not right, I feel like something is wrong - this isn't normal for me. I can't even think of a reason I should be feeling this way. I've tried various things, even taking a two week break and spending it back home with my parents, and nothing seems to be working. I'm at a loss at what could be going on or what to do. I need some help figuring it out." Don't delay! The worst possible case scenario is that you get a doctor who doesn't take your issue seriously. If that's the case, seek another opinion. At a minimum, a doctor should ask you some detailed questions, and then offer up a potential suggestion of what might be causing it. After all, if this isn't normal for you, and you can't think of any reason you're feeling this way, SOMETHING is causing it. It's just a matter of finding out what it is and setting it right. This is the best advice I can give you.
