So, I'm out to my mom, dad, and a friend of mine. At this point, I'm not really not out. Since nobody really mentions it... I don't either. So, essentially I just have to come out to my brothers and sister at this point, and after that... Well, I'm done coming out. My entire, stressful teenage years will have ended with the problem of my family not knowing. But do I actually have to tell my siblings that I'm gay? Or keep treating it like it's an unimportant thing? I know a few people will think "that's insensitive not to tell them" but I mean... It's MY business. At the same time, though, I won't feel out until I tell them. I'm not worried about telling my sister (she loves gay boys too much.........) and I'm not that worried about my one brother - my oldest brother probably won't be okay with it but whatever. Anyways, do I really have to tell them? If so, how do I get the courage? It's still hard x( THANKS <3 x
I think you should tell your siblings because I think they would want to know, and may feel betrayed or that you couldn't trust them. You don't have to, obviously, and it is your business and your choice. And I wish I could tell you how to come out to them but I have clue since I'm not out at all. But I wish you the best! <3
By no means are you obligated to tell them. You don't have to come out if you don't want to. Like you said, it is your business and that's the truth. I kinda felt the same way, telling my sister (I haven't yet told my brother, [both older than me]); I just kinda asked her if she could handle it at the moment, because she was driving on the highway :eek:. But there was no way I could have prepared myself for that nervousness But if you aren't worried about their reactions, there should be no real reason to fear, right? (*hug*) You just gotta do it if you really want to. (*hug*) (*hug*) (&&&)
Be yourself. Drop hints. Talk about how cute someone is in front of them. I'd say you don't have to tell them explicitly, but if you want to be out, then you shouldn't feel like you have to hide.
You don't have to tell them. But if you don't tell them, it will create a distance in your relationships with them. You will continue to feel like you are not interacting with them authentically. Also, whenever you purposely hide your sexuality--such as when you choose not to say something that would reveal it, even though you thought it and wanted to say it--every time, you reinforce your unconscious idea that it is shameful. So it interferes with your self-acceptance. I think that this effect is actually more powerful than anything anyone else says to you. Whenever you deny the truth of your own life, it is a betrayal of yourself.
lanthe has a valid point. Also, being in the closet can be stressful, and coming out can feel liberating, especially if you've been wasting time and energy trying to decide whether or not to come out, or who to come out to.
Yes, Ianthe I agree you hit that nail on the head... But I'm not like that by nature. I'm not comfortable discussing who I find attractive (regardless of whether that's because I'm gay or not, I just don't talk about those sort of things). Actually, my mom brought that up to me - I mentioned that a girl who served us at a grocery store was SUPER ATTRACTIVE and later my mom asked if maybe I was asexual since I don't ever talk about boys I like... But I'm not :K I'm still undecided about what to do. I honestly might just get my mom to tell my brothers. I don't have a relationship with them where I can discuss that... I'll tell my sister in person, though. Thanks for the advice everyone <3
I'm only out to my parents and not out to my siblings. Why should you feel the need to tell them it will happen in due time.But do you feel by telling your siblings that it will be just verifying that fact your gay and there will be no going back. I might just be projecting your feelings ---------- Post added 29th Apr 2012 at 05:27 PM ---------- btw I don't think people can say how you would feel as you are the only person who knows how you feel
