My mum's reaction. URGHHHH>.< I have to write this quickly, she could be home any minute. She's in denial, serious, serious, denial. SHe's come up with hundreds of reasons why I couldbe wrong, but instead of up-front voicing them to me she tries to subtly imply them and link them to every conversation we have, tiptoe-ing around the subject. It's awful, I can't talk to her, she won't listen to me or my dad. We;ve agreed that I am still young, and that it is all fluid, yada yada, but she still keeps insisting that I'm going to change, when I know that in all likelihood if there is any difference I will most likely merely drop down say, by one number on the Kinsey Scale. We've decided that we are going to rule a line under this topic completely now, and I will let them know if and when I have any changes of mind. My dad says this is just in order to wait until she has adjusted, and if I don't come to her again she will just assume that I am still gay, and hopefully, in, say, a few months, she will come to me and accept it. In the meantime, she is really paranoid about what I am looking at on the computer, what I'm watching on tv, what my friends are saying, because she thinks those are the reasons why I'm like this (even despite my dad's numerous pieces of evidence on the contrary- hes a doctor) so she's keeping a close eye on what I am doing. So I probably won't be around EC much, until her suspicious stage dies down. Who knows how long that will be? That's all I wanted to say. Any advice would be appreciated, though. Has anyone else eexperienced anything similar, and how did it turn out in the end? Bytheway, not sure if this is the right section for this thread, so sorryyyy
Hey Fireworks. I'm not sure how old you are, but it might help to try and look at this from another angle. Do you remember what it was like for you when you first started to realize that you were a lesbian? If you were like a lot of people, your response to this realization was something like: "OMGOMGOMG Not me! No one can ever know!" It may seem weird, but all those feelings you experienced - she's experiencing them right now. The life she envisioned for you has just been turned upside down. As a parent, she's also likely terrified of the challenges you might face being a lesbian. So, she did what most people do when faced with this realization. They go into denial. They try and tell themselves that it's just a phase. That things will change. What is important to understand and know is that denial passes, and eventually it gives way to acceptance. You shouldn't look at this as your mother not accepting you or rejecting you. She's just afraid. You've hit her with something heavy, and she's going to need some time to wrap her mind around it. I have two suggestions that might help. First, since your dad is very accepting and supportive, this is the perfect opportunity to strengthen your relationship with him. Your mother may not be ready to be there for you yet, but you have your dad to lean on and talk too. Don't pass this opportunity up. This is a chance for you both to grow so much closer. Second, it might help to talk to your Mom about what it was like for you as you came to terms with being a lesbian. Like I said, she is going through something similar right now. It's temporary, and like your Dad said, in a couple of months (maybe sooner!) she's going to have wrapped her mind around the news. Things might be difficult for a bit while your mother adjusts, but in the end she will adjust. She may even be sorry for the way she is currently acting, but even if not this is not a rejection of you. This is a fear-based response, fear of the vision of your future that she believes she has to give up, fear of what might happen to you, and even perhaps fear based in selfishness - fear of what others will say about her once they find out. All the fears that you went through, all the fears that you had, she is experiencing some degree of the same thing right now. Lean on your Dad. You're not alone, and these difficulties will pass.