1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Stop Feelings From Developing ?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nooneknows, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. nooneknows

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Ever fall in love with your best friend and they end up kissing u several times at 3 different parties (not knowing that u love them)?

    U decide to come out to them thinking "this is finally it; we can be together" and they tell you they are straight and want u to know that they don't think of u in that way.

    Thankfully, nothing has changed about our friendship since I came out to her.

    I haven't seen her since October (my birthday) and she actually wants to come over next weekend (the 5th of may). So we'll be spending the entire weekend together and it will be the first time we see each other since I've come out (we live like 3 hours away from each other so it's difficult to spend time together but we keep in touch through facebook and text messages). And it just hit me that it might totally be a wicked awkward weekend together. I'm really hoping that it won't be and everything will be ok.

    Also, the other thing that worries me is that I've been working on my feelings for her. Not seeing her helps a lot. And so I'm worried that since she'll be staying the entire weekend at my place that what I've been working on will all be lost and I'll fall right back... completely in love with her again. Yes I do still love her but I'm doing way better than I was a couple of months ago ....

    I don't know how to keep my feelings from developing when I'll be with her ... any advice ?
     
  2. julia

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2012
    Messages:
    461
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York City
    I know how it feels to be in love with a best friend, it hurts, but you just have to tell yourself it's just not going to work out. Also if she tries to kiss you again, I would recommend pulling away and saying you can't. I understand how tough it can be but eventually your feelings will dissolve. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. IvoryKate

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2011
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Female
    Sucky situation! I'm sorry you're going to be going through this soon! :frowning2:

    In terms of advice, I agree with julia. If you kiss her or get too close to her physically, it will be so much harder for you to forget your feelings. Just keep reminding yourself that you want to respect her, and not give her unwanted affection.

    I personally, don't think there's anything wrong with still loving her. You may love her for a long time and she many never love you back like you want her too. And that will hurt. But if you love her, you don't have to forget that if you don't want to. It certainly would hurt less if you did, but you don't have to.

    I hope that made sense. It felt a little garbled typing it. :slight_smile:
     
  4. nooneknows

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thanks : ] I know I don't have to worry about whether or not we'll kiss because we were drunk when that happened and it never happened again after. She cares about me too so she knows not to get to close to me that she'll hurt me on purpose. I'm sure everything will turn out to be okay : ] I just don't want to go back to that dark place where all I thought about was being with her and no one else. It hurt me so much and made me very depressed. Sometimes I go back to that place but it's never as bad as it used to be. I'm hoping that the weekend together won't change that. But thanks for the support : ]