Hi EC. Just to note this may contain vulgar or graphic words. I have this socially awkward bisexual friend (he's 50/50 girls/guys) and I just realised there's a possibility he's flirting with me, not sure though. He's always found out ways to piss me off or alter words, like if you were to say something like "kk I'm coming," he would then typically reply with "so am I, on your mum's face." He does that ALL the time, however since he's known I'm gay I've noticed he's taking the topic away from everything else entirely, and every time he does it he refers to me instead. I've always thought he was just doing the same shtick he always does, but maybe there's a possibility he isn't? Like earlier today he started this weird thing where he pretends to strip over skype, where he willl have this funny look in his face then go to undo his top shirt button, then when I say something like "ooh, sexy" (sarcastically), he will say something like "you know you love it." When he says something sexual and I (usually sarcastically) go along with it, he will then not say anything about joking and his tone and laughs seem to suggest as though he's laying it out there so I can take it as a joke, or seriously. At one point during his shtick I said "I'm actually not sure if you're joking anymore." and he didn't reply to that but rather laughed, not like a normal laugh sort of a nervous laugh, but not trying to make it seem nervous, it's hard to describe. He never talks about his exs anymore either unless I ask about them, he always talked about them before he knew I was gay. There was one thing in particular that got me, when we were discussing hot guys he was said "it may be a cliche, but I'm more into personality." To which I replied "so am I... But you're not going to be attracted to a guy you've never met before's personality." He then said "you? Personality?? *laughs*" I responded "Bitch I am, it may not seem like it but I'm not like that anymore, personality for me or no bjs kkthxbye." He responded "You'd probably make out with me if you were drunk." I replied "probably (in a jokey manner)." I didn't think much of the above at the time, but now I look at our conversations in a narrators point of view, it seems a bit suspiscious, however I also talk like this with a guy I met online, we have never heard eachothers voice or seen eachother but we been gaming over 2 years, we have absolutely no problems or embarrasment telling eachother strange things such as when we have/will masturbate, sharing nude pics of others and such. Me and this online friend have never met though so maybe this is different? It's the same with every gay guy I've met online, they don't care about this stuff. I would have thought it would be different in person though right? Is it normal for a guy to be this flirtatious with someone they know in person? When I say things like "wait a sec just gotta put my shirt back on." He would say things like "aww," in a jokey way also, but someone not into you wouldn't say that would they? Even in a jokey manner? The thing is I'm thinking of having a weekend with my friends where we would inevitably be drinking (yes I know my age, please no lectures on this, I very aware of every detail about alcohol), and I'm wondering if I should maybe flirt a little with him when drunk and see if it goes anywhere? Because honestly I've never kissed a guy before and I most certaintly wouldn't mind it :lol::lol::lol: I mean, if he rejects me I can at least blame it on the alcohol, right?
Eh, personally, I wouldn't suggest it. This guy is your friend and all, but it doesn't sound like you really like him in that type of way. If he liked you, he'd probably be less apprehensive with hitting on you and asking you out, but holding back because you're in the friend zone. I guess you could just mess around this weekend. But not while you're drunk. I'm not patronizing you, it's just that if you try to hit on him while drunk, ANYTHING can go down when you can end up deeply regreting it when you sober up. Preferably, try it before you start drinking. At least then, the alcohol isn't clouding your judgement. You feel something click, then I'm pretty sure you can sort it out. Nothing clicks, then just let your friend be. If you start feeling a bit too uncomfortable, I'd confront him about it.
Being overtly openly sexual doesn't mean he's flirting necessarily. I know a few people who have similar personalities (albeit straight) and they certainly aren't flirting with every girl they see. I dunno. Could he be flirting with you? Sure. But the more important question is: do you actually like him? You shouldn't pursue anything if you aren't interested... don't go down the road of "I just want to experiment because he might be game". That's nearly as bad as a one-night stand; arguably worse since you'll have to see the guy's face again afterwards. I won't give the spiel on underage drinking (because you already know what I'm thinking and I'm sure I've mentioned it before), but just one thought. I wouldn't use alcohol as an "excuse". You hear stories of "liquid courage" giving people the motivation to pursue something... sure, that's fine. But there's a fine line between giving you the push to do something you really considered before, and having it be the only thing that would make it occur. Don't fall into the second category. As for this, keep in mind the Internet provides anonymity. If he said these things and you got weirded out, he could just say he got hacked, or that he was kidding, or could just log off and you'd never see him again... and because it's not in person, you can't do anything but take it a face value. Similarly to how it's much easier to get advice online than talking with someone in person, it's also much easier to share otherwise secretive topics online. The rules of what's socially acceptable doesn't apply online (or rather, there's a whole different set of rules). That's not to say he isn't different, but just be smart about what you're doing.
What you haven't really said is if you like him that way... Just reading your post it doesn't sound like it.
Alright, I'm not going to lecture you any. You've already heard it all before. However, let me spell out how bad your idea is so that you can envision the consequences. Let's say your friend really is flirting with you. In fact, let's go further. Let's say he actually has a crush on you. Then there you are, drunk out of your mind, coming onto him. You kiss him. Your friend kisses you back. Both of you, drunk... one thing leads to another... next thing you know you're having sex with your friend. The next day, you sober up. You realize what happened. Suddenly, you have a whole mess of problems. Since you came onto him, your friend thinks you share feelings for him. All he needed was the booze to allow himself to act on them, because he was afraid you didn't feel the same way, and he didn't want to ruin the friendship you both share. Then you have to explain to him, "Oh, you know last night? Uh.. yeah. Sorry about that. It was the booze." Think about how your friend might feel. Think about how he'd feel used and humiliated. Now, if you think you might have feelings for your friend and you're curious about whether or not he returns them, then this isn't something you pursue while drunk. It's something you discuss with him, like a man, openly and while sober. If you value your friendship with him, then this is literally one of the worst things you can do. You're setting yourself up for major problems, and potentially losing a friend. So, let me just say it one more time for emphasis: this is a very bad idea. Don't do it.
Well guys I do have a crush on him, albeit not a big one, but the feelings are there nonetheless. One of the reasons I was suggesting doing this drunk is so it's to show him that, but that I also have an escape so that there would be no awkwardness if it turns out he doesn't want to go down that path. I definitely wouldn't do anything other than kissing, I'm pretty good at controlling myself while drunk. Even if the next day he desides he doesnt want to, it wouldn't be that awkward between us, we've been through far far worse and still been best friends ever since pre-school, so I'm really not worried about losing the friendship because I know that will never happen. The reason I'm wondering if he has feelings for me is that I see no reason for his shtick to change to involving me since he's known I'm gay, and I don't know any straight guys who do the same thing with girls, and vice versa. I don't really want to do it sober as we're both very shy people, although it would be much easier for him as the ball would be in his court. He rarely even leaves the house, he would much rather be inside playing games all day, which other than that our personalities are perfect for eachother, which is why I want this quite badly. I've never kissed another guy and I've never asked another guy out or been asked out, I'm openly gay yet he's the only gay/bi guy I know (just to be clear, not saying that just because he's gay too that we should go out, just so happens our personalities go great together). We have started doing things together a lot more now and he talks about me a lot to his friends, he's mentioning me in general a lot more than he used to, I wouldn't even know how to go about asking him out sober, I mean how would that go? Or is there a subtle way to do it so it could be a joke but also serious?
I have VERY bad memory so I forgot to add this yesturday - - I was randomly singing this yesturday and when I sung the "come and give me some more" bit he said "sure, when?" Then when I stopped cause he was joking around too much he then went onto say "aww, come on keep singing, I'm bored." However the way he said it, he generally wanted me to sing more which I thought was a bit strange, and not so he could joke around more.
If you know, for sure, he's bi and he's admitted this to you and is open about it, I see no reason why you can't be up front with him and just ask where this is going. Maybe I read too quickly, but, if he's bi and out, I see absolutely no harm in just saying "what do you think about us?"
Well I don't think he's fully out as bi, but he came out to me, probably because I'm openly gay, but he has told a few people. The thing is I don't really know how to go about asking, I think "what do you think about us?" Is a bit bold for me, I'm a pretty shy person, as is he. I can barely imagine saying it in my head, let alone to him. It's annoying because of this crush I have on him, I got very jealous the other day when he said he's going to a friend's birthday party, which for some reason I automatically assume he's going to do something with someone >.<
Doesn't matter how good you think you are at controlling yourself; being under the influence alters your judgement, and this is new territory for you. So, why can't you just talk to him again? Easy. He now has a new "gay friend". Someone he can relate to. He may not be going about it the most appropriate way, but this opens up a whole new realm of conversation and topics to explore. Although it could just be him having feelings for you; but we can't answer that. --- Honestly, it sounds like you're trying hard to justify why you should go along and do this. I mean, it doesn't matter how many interests you share in common, or how well your personalities mesh if you don't really have feelings for him. You have a small crush, yes, but what's this crush based on? Would you like him the same way if he wasn't into guys? Because I feel like what you're describing is that you're interested because of availability; he's the only other guy you know who's into guys. It's like thinking "yeah, well this is the only realistic option I've got, so I guess I can see how this might work out". But again, only you can really judge how much you like him. We can't answer that. The only part we can really give advice on is how to pursue it (if you choose), and I think everyone's given the bit about drinking already. Though, if he really is your friend, and you do want a relationship... how do you expect to get anywhere if you can't communicate openly with him?
Yeah I've had crushes on him in the past, and it's different with this particular subject, as I've said I've never asked anyone out or even kissed anyone, I don't know how I'm supposed to go about doing it without it being awkward, not sure what setting to ask him out in, the right words to say etc. I'm generally a shy guy too so it's pretty hard to say anything along those lines, we are perfectly comfortable sharing and being open though.
