-I don't plan on telling them in the near future, or if a letter is the right way to do it but it is a nice option to have. What do you think good, bad, or should I say more/less? Whatever you think I appreciate it. Dear mom and dad I’m sorry if I have been acting withdrawn lately, and I imagine that getting a letter from me seems very out of the ordinary but it is the only way I can express my feelings clearly. I don’t like to make you worry, and though I don’t like to admit it I have been struggling with a lot of things lately, mainly my health problems, and the problems I have been having in school. But there is one other thing that has been eating at me for a long time and I want to tell you the truth. And I ask you to please read this entire letter before anything else happens. What I want to tell you is that I am gay. I know this isn’t the easiest news to hear and I understand that you may be feeling a sense of shock, sadness, anger, or disappointment, and if you are it’s alright, from what I hear those are very common feelings, and believe me those are feelings that I have dealt with for a long time. Although if I am lucky this might not be a shock to you, given the fact that I have never dated anyone or shown an interest in women as a teenager or even now. I’m not asking you to like this part of me, I just want you to still love me. I want you to know that this doesn’t change anything, I have known this about myself from a young age, even though it took me a very long time to fully accept. It is just a part of who I am, but it is a part that I have been afraid to share with you. I want you to know that I am still the same person, I am still the animal lover, I am still the same person who can find humor in the dark, and still the same person who can beat you at any board game that we play together, but most of all I am still your son. I’m sorry if I am ruining the dreams that you both had for me and my future. I know that you have wanted me to eventually find someone and get married someday, that is possible for me, the only difference is that I would give you another son-in-law. It has taken me so long to be able to tell you that, I just hope that you can be happy for me. I want to assure you both that if you ever need to talk about this, you can talk to me, please don’t hesitate to contact me about any questions you might have. And if you’re not ready to talk or not ready to see me yet I understand, but I have to ask that you will both please keep this between us, I don’t like asking you to do that but I am not ready for anyone else to this know yet, please respect me enough to do that. I can’t tell you how scared I am to think that you are reading this, I have cried I don’t know how many times writing it. I realize that by telling you this I could risk losing you, but if I carry on the way I have been I will risk losing you anyway. I truly hope that doesn’t happen, life is hard enough, and without other people to care about its a lot harder, that fear of loss has terrified me for a very long time. I have wished that someday I will find someone to care about and be able to tell you about it but, but I thought I would never be able to, I guess that is something straight people take for granted. I am worried about what the future holds and I can only hope that we can make it past this. I love you both, and no matter what happens that will never change. -Love, your son
It is very clear and direct. You showed understanding for them as well. It couldn't be written any better.
Ok - I am going to tell you - I cried a little bit and I have a heart of stone. Good luck with the parents - seems like they should be very proud of the young man they have raised.
Letters can be a great way to come out, and I think this one says everything right. If you're looking for a way to break things open, this is definitely a good option for you. So if you decide to use it, good luck!
Thanks, it has taken me a long time to write a letter and not delete it, it's weird to think that it is saved on my computer, under a fake title. I'm just concerned about the asking them to keep it to themselves part, I feel like if they are having a hard time with it and aren't ready to talk to me yet, then it might make things worse. Should I take out that part? I don't want to, but it could make it easier for them.
1) Like nydtc, my eyes watered... and that never happens. It's a great letter. You portrayed your true feeling and you kept an understanding, genuine tone throughout. Writing a letter like that is a big step and I'm sure you know it takes a lot to put your feelings on paper like that. Wow, congratulations. :eusa_clap 2) To ask them to keep it to themselves is not unreasonable. If they are having trouble handling your coming out, they should either give it time or talk to you about it. (Telling someone else would be pointless except for venting purposes which can be done in a different way.) The exception to keeping it to themselves is if one/both of them go to therapy or something like it. I would keep that part in but, ultimately, that's your decision. Once again, congrats and good luck. (*hug*)
I really like the letter that you wrote Its not an unreasonable request on your part, but you also understand that they might need support from other people. Why not tell them that Even better, you can mention PFLAG meetings around your area or include literature for parents if you want. Either way, keep in mind that the letter is going to serve as a way to start the conversation about it all. Make sure to be open to talk to them after you tell them and to answer tons of questions that they may have. Be patient
I loved it, I almost cried that is how good it is! I think it is perfect and couldn't be any better. Best of luck. (is it okay if I use some of the stuff on there for when I write to my dad?)
Wow that's like a very good letter. You've written everything that's important and also in a very understanding way. And I've got the same question as Lord Phoenix, could I use some ideas/the basic shape of it if I ever need to write one myself? Even though right now just putting it on paper is more than I can do.
Brilliant letter, I've heard some that I've felt don't put the point across sensitively enough, but that letter sure does. If your parents don't feel your emotions through that, nobody will. Good look and I wish the you utmost best.
Very well done. I came out to my parents through a letter as well - I hope yours goes as well as mine did! God bless!
That's beautiful. My eyes are a little moist right now. I know I said in your other post that the coming out letter isn't my cup of tea, but if I were going to do it in a letter, I would want it to be that one It's well written, and your feelings came across crystal clear. Not only that, but there's so much respect in there for your parents and their feelings too. I don't really know what else to say, and I'm seldom speechless (Just find and read some of my other postings LOL). Once again, beautiful. You have to do this in your own time, when your ready, but I'm kind of rooting for you to give it to them this weekend now!
