So anyways... I've been going through forums the past 2 days since I've joined and noticed that like a few people were arguing that you find it offensive when other people say stuff like "this is so gay, or hes such a fag.. blah blah blah...", I wouldn't take that personally because I'm gay and I even say that stuff sometimes around my friends and I know that other people that say that stuff don't actually mean it like that. They just say it. Like when you say shit, (ex: Oh, shit I forgot my keys!), you don't literally mean shit like poo lol.. anyways, that's what I think. I rarely ever say that stuff, and thats probably partly because I havn't come out yet and I don't want any suspicions from them because I go to an all guys private school and I don't know why but I don't like swearing. I was wondering what everyone else thought on this subject and if they take it offensively when people say that stuff or if they ever say that sort of stuff?
well in terms of "this is so gay". i dont have a problem with it, but i dont approve of it either. its because when people say "thats gay", they mean "thats stupid". thus they are implying that gay people are stupid. its an indirect insult and most people dont notice it. but it is an insult nonetheless.
It depends where you live and who's saying it.... i mean the person i trust most in the world who i came out to still says "that's so gay" or "youre a homo" to me it doesnt really bother me but i do think about it silently to myself everytime.... why are they saying it? i mean what if it did bother me? would they still do it? should i tell them i have a problem with it even though i don't knowing that it upsets majority of gay people?
Ya, same I do think about it when other people say it, but I don't say anything to them. It does kind of make me mad but in the extremely rare times I do say it, its only to someone that I really dont want to know im gay, even tho I don't think anyone thinks that in RL except really close friends of mine cause im like emotional and sensative sometimes. But seriously, since I've found this forum (only a couple days ago) I thought of so much stuff and feel like way better about everything.
I'm pretty bad about saying it myself... I don't take any offense to it at all really. Unless somebody is deliberately bashing gays, then I get upset.
Same. I've never got offended by it, but i know why others do, and i wouldn't say it if i knew that somebody around me would be offended by it. I never tend to let words bother me, stick and stones and all. Though that's not to say I don't watch what i say around people.
i think it's offensive. what if people used "that's so black" to mean "that sucks"? wouldn't that be racist? wouldn't it be perpetuating racism? so, the same with gay. it's simple, i think.
I agree with you actually but i think i've gotten the whole motto "I don't care what you say" so thickly developed in my skull from when i was in the closet and i heard it even more frequently, so now that i'm out i'm just like what the frick ever if they meant it to hurt me i think i could tell, and when they do say it sometimes they don't even realize oh yeah he's gay lol i mean it's society really that has turned words like Gay to mean things it was never meant to mean...........which sucks, but instead of saying we wish it would change we need to find ways to change it if it bothers us...
Replacing "stupid" or "lame" with "gay" or "faggy" is insulting. Do you really want a word that describes you to be used in place of derogatory terms? I don't like it and I even go slightly crazy at my friends when they use it. However if some one calls me "fag" or "faggot" as an endearing term (eg my friends using it) I'm not that bothered. It's like black people calling each other "n*gger". However I do know some gay people who hate the word altogether but it's each to their own. One thing I do hate though is people using the F-bomb as a deliberate insult. I do think that, to me, it depends a lot on context.
When I was younger I used to get really offended, but have lately been desensitized to it. As far as "That's so gay," I think most people don't mean it literally or even think about it when they say it. I'm not offended, but I do recognize that a lot of other people are and can understand why, But in my opinion, it's a little hypocritical to be angry at those who call us fags and dykes when a lot of LGBT persons throw it around as common terminology to eachother. When gay people call eachother fags or lesbians use dyke, it sends the message that it's okay for other people to do so. As someone else mentioned, it's kind of like The N word. (lol, Showtime's new African American drama series?) But, for those who really do find it offensive and abstain from using derogatory terms, then by all means I think you're entitled to be a little angry about it. Being young and naive, I tend to abide by sticks and stones and think the world has bigger issues.
same here but its common lingo where i live and is by no means meant to be an insult. its like people that say "oh my god" all the time (myself included). im not trying to offend anyone or anything. its just a mindless habit.
I personally could care less. A lot of phrases or words that were once insulting have evolved into words we use everyday. I say "that's gay" all the time. It's just something people say, usually without thinking about what it really means. If people aren't saying it maliciously then it really doesn't matter. I also have no problem with the word fag. Fagot, on the other hand, seems like a vicious and insulting word. It really is dependent upon the context and who exactly is saying. If people know you're gay and say it anyways than I think that's really inconsiderate, that is if you don't say it yourself. People should make sure you're comfortable with it first.
Exactly. They are giving the word "gay" a negative connotation. So automatically, when someone says, "that's so gay," they think that he/she means, "that's so stupid". Instead of taking it literally, meaning it is homosexual! I'm fine with people saying "that's so gay" when they actually mean that it something a gay person would do...ie too guys making out is "soo gay!"
