Confused

Alright Hayyyyy. Take a deep breath.

First, let me say having stereotypical feminine qualities as a man doesn't make you gay. Let me be very clear about that. It's like believing that a stereotypical ultra macho jock is straight just because he doesn't display typical gay stereotypes.

Second, you can't tell if anyone is gay just by the way they act, dress, or their personality. You know how to tell if someone is gay? When he finds himself developing crushes on other men, and finds himself wanting to have sex with those men. If you find that neither of those two things are working for you; then chances are you aren't gay or bi-sexual. If you have one or both of those things going on, then maybe you are.

Third, stop listening to people who are telling you that you're gay. First of all, if you're straight - that's fine! Be happy! That's who you are. If you're gay or bisexual - that's fine! Be happy about that, too! However, the point is that no one can tell you what YOU feel.

Fourth, the type of father you had has no impact on your sexual orientation. He sounds kinda nice, but he could be an ultra gay drag queen who dragged you to every show he ever performed, and it would have absolutely zero impact on your sexual orientation.

Fifth, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not "less of a man" because you have some stereotypical feminine qualities. Being a man, in case your father never told you, has to do with someones character. It's about being honest, respectful to others, standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves, loving yourself, respecting yourself, etc. etc. It has nothing to do with swaying your hips while you walk, talking in a high pitched voice, talking with your hands, or whatever other stereotypical gay or feminine stuff you do. These things do not make you more or less of a man.

Also, while we are at it, having a penis doesn't make you a man either. A lot of guys seem to think that is all that is required to be a man, but I'm here to tell you that they're wrong. While having a penis may make you technically biologically male, it does not in fact, make you a man. And there is an important difference.

Sixth, I'm not sure how many penises (penii?) you've seen in your lifetime Hayyyyy, but let me tell you that in my nearly thirty years as a gay man I've seen quite a few. And no, don't be thinking I'm a slut - cause I didn't even mean it like that. :dry:

They come in all shapes and sizes, and if you're straight I'm guessing the majority of penises you've seen have come from porn. Let me break the news to you, the men in porn have giant penises. They're hired, not for their acting (obviously), but for their attractiveness and their huge giant dicks.

The average sized penis is about five inches long, and note I said the word average, which means they come in smaller sizes as well.

Now, having spoken about sex with many women over the years, let me impart a bit of wisdom to you; from a gay man to an almost certainly straight man. Anything you may lack downstairs can easily be made up for with a skilled tongue and hands. Guess what? Lesbian's seem to get along just fine without a penis between them. That's kinda the point of being a lesbian. So whatever you may lack downstairs - and I'm pretty confident that you aren't lacking, let me make that clear (so many men worry about it and are perfectly normal) - even a small penis is still an advantage over no penis at all.

Oh, and while I'm at it let me pass on this wisdom as well: the clitoris is on the outside and not the inside of the vagina for a reason. If you don't know what a clitoris is, or where it is, I highly suggest you do a Google search and educate yourself. The future women you're going to be having sex with will thank me.

In closing, are you straight, gay or bisexual? I don't know. That's only a question you can answer for yourself. Forget what other people are telling you, because they're ignorant. Listen to yourself. Don't worry about trying to please others; be who you are, and learn to love yourself. In the end, you are the only person you have to wake up to every morning.

So, stop letting other people get to you and tell you what you think, what you feel, and what you are. Find your own place in life - that's part of being a man, and it's true for all men - regardless of sexual orientation or personality.

Oh, and here is an e-hug to reduce your stress. (*hug*)

 

Hey man,
This seems to be the summary of what you wrote:
Evidence for being straight: you've always felt you were straight, you love sex with women, you've long thought about straight sex and watched straight porn, you didn't like it when you experimented with guys.
Evidence for being gay: people think you're gay.

I wonder, when you say "EVERYONE" believes you're closeted, what makes you say that? Do you get asked it a lot? In any case, it doesn't matter what other people think. Only you know how you feel. Have you ever had a crush on a guy? Who do you tend to notice most when you're walking around in public, good looking girls or good looking guys?

As far as your sex drive decreasing when you think about people believing you're gay . . . anxiety can definitely kill sex drive.

Hope this helps, I know how frustrating it can be to figure out your sexuality.

 

If you're attracted to women and you're not attracted to men, clearly you're not gay. I mean, you said you've experimented and never enjoyed it at all. It's relatively obvious you're not. Just because people think certain things doesn't mean they're true.

 

It could, but probably not.

To be honest, sexuality isn't necessarily a binary thing at all. Everyone, regardless of sexuality, has probably had some form of attraction towards someone they wouldn't consider in their normal "sexual range," whether it was from emotional development or they were just attractive or whatever.

 

Hm.

Like I said, just because people think something doesn't mean it's reality. They could also just be screwing with you or jerks.

 

There is nothing gay about a straight man who wants to form deep and meaningful relationships with other men. Actually, that's normal and healthy. The word "bromance" was coined for just such relationships.

There is also nothing wrong with finding other men attractive, admiring them, their bodies, thinking they are cute, etc.

I'm insanely gay - like as gay as you can possibly get, and I still look at women and find them beautiful, attractive, sexy, pretty, etc. Admiring the beauty in other people is not a gay or straight thing. It's not even a bisexual thing.

There is a difference between admiring another persons attractiveness, seeking to form deep and meaningful friendships with them, and wanting to marry them and have sex with them. There is a difference between a friendship hug, and a 'hold me close and tight, I never want to let go - I'm totally in love with you' hug. There is a difference between admiring another man's body and getting aroused by that same body.

I hope this helps clarify things.