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Flirting?!?!????

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jdscbtw, Apr 29, 2012.

  1. Jdscbtw

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    I was just wondering how can you tell if someone is flirting with you??
     
  2. mark

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    My thing: eye contact, slight touch, body faces you.
    Other than that, you kind of just know if someone's flirting with you
     
  3. Rice and Pepper

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    Personally, I stare at someone when I am flirting (aforesaid eye contact).
    If I haven't talked to him yet, I stare and keep on staring even if he notices. If then he doesn't avoid eye contact and quickly look away (or doesn't aggressively stare back), he usually is also a bit interested.
    While talking with him, you can tell he is flirting because there is an odd feeling in the air that the conversation is just excuse to get closer to you physically and mentally. If you are sitting for example, he will be leaning towards you a little, which is unnatural for a typical friend to friend conversation. Or he will be trying to be humorous and make a good, but attractive as well, impression.
    Finally, if there is actual contact, you must have serious issues not to understand that that is not flirting.
    More or less what Mark said in more details.
     
  4. Caoimhe Fayre

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    umm I am finding the whole flirting thing very frustrating, because girls have a tendency to "flirt" with just friends, and it's so confusing to know is this just friend flirting or is she interested flirting?

    sorry, I'm not much help, am I?
     
  5. Jdscbtw

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    Well not really but I'm always glad to hear what people have to say I need all the help I can get thanks :slight_smile:
     
  6. NickD

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    I'm still trying to figure this one out myself, though I think I have an idea. I could never tell when a girl was flirting, but other guys are actually a bit easier to figure out. If there's one thing I've learned thus far, gay men (myself included) are much more comfortable with physical contact than our straight counterparts, we are definitely more "hands-y."

    But it really depends on the surroundings. For instance, at the drag show the other night, a very handsome fellow grabbed my ass as he was leaving after we had been talking (and giggling) for awhile. I'd say that's flirting. But of course, if you're at the book store, a gaze and a smile achieve the same effect. It's all about how it suits the situation.
     
  7. addie88

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    Pretend flirting, in my opinion, lacks sustained eye contact. It's also more exaggerated and in shorter periods. I think that two friends who are pretending to flirt with each other will exchange suggestive glances and then laugh afterwards, for example. And it won't happen when it's just the two of you-- it's usually to make other people laugh. Real flirting has sustained eye contact, and a hyper-awareness of each others' body movements.
     
  8. speedracing22

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    I hate flirting. Every time someone flirts with me I don't even notice it. Then after they leave one of my friend's always goes "OMG that girl was totally flirting with you!!!". And then I feel like a complete schmuck for not seeing it lol.
     
  9. insidehappy

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    gay men are usually passive or passive aggressive in non gay environments. they do not know if you are gay or not so they are not sure what to do and dont want drama or a fight. so they will flirt with you by doing the following:

    1. striking up random conversation with a stranger that is out of the blue. it's usually something random that has nothing to do with what is going on at that current moment but just is a way for them to "open" a conversation out of thin air to talk to you.
    2. smiling while looking you in the face/eyes
    3. staring at you lustfully or with some smile/smirk or with a blank stare for an extended period of time. the classic "look and look away constantly" move is also employed by this type of guy. he will usually do this several times but will never say anything to you. it is his way of signaling you that "hi i am a homosexual and i like you but i'm not going to say anything to you but if you want to come and talk to me, i may be ok with that or i may act straight and look at you like why are you talking to me.."it's whatever they feel like at the moment.
    4. stare at you when you cross their path, ignore you and turn back around to see if you're looking back at them (typical classic homosexual pick up move)
    5. suggest hanging out, asking for your number, or telling you to take theirs when you just met them.,
    6. subtly compliment you, (nice outfit, nice clothes, i love those shoes where did you get them).

    some homosexuals are more direct even in non gay environments and will do the following:
    1. let you know they are gay
    2. touch you on your knee, arm, legs, shoulders, chest (pecs... thsi has happened to me several times out of the blue) anywhere they can. also they will touch your tie and rub on it.
    3. shaking your hand and extending the shake to the point where you are holding their hand. some may even try and rub your palm as they are shaking your hand to signal you.
    4. ask you if you are gay...usually an instant turn off for closeted men even if they were initially interested
    5. have their girlfriend (usually the lesbian girl or straight girlfriend he travels everywhere with) ask you if you are gay or tell you that her friends thinks you're cute.
    6. some will directly compliment you (you are an attractive guy, you look good, you're fine).

    please note that these are merely observations and no one thing or combination of the things above means someone is homosexual or flirting with you. however many are pretty good indicators. never assume anyone is gay unless they tell you or you see them in homosexual situations.even in gay places, not everyone is gay.
     
    #9 insidehappy, Apr 29, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2012
  10. speedracing22

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    I'm guilty of this one. The "look and look away constantly". Usually I can't help it though lol.