I'm going to be a brief as possible. I've been going through an extremely depressed place emotionally right now and it ended up getting so bad I cut myself (wrist). I didn't tell her everything, but I went to my counselor and told her that I was getting depressed. She suggested I journal. I wrote a single sheet of paper front and back about everything that's wrong with me right now, emotionally, and I mentioned in the journal my current long-distance boyfriend and the fact that I cut myself. I didn't think he would find it-- he just thought it was something that I wrote (a story, since I write often.) He confronted me about it today, so he knows that I'm gay. He knows that I've cut myself, and he wants to tell my mother about all of this. I really -really- need to know how to handle this situation, because it's freaking me out.
Can you tell us some more about your situation? How do your parents feel, as far as you know, about gay people? What is their reaction to you're being gay likely to be? Are they generally supportive of you? I recommend telling your counselor that you cut. That way she can teach you techniques to fight the urge to cut. I can go over some of the here, if you like, but the techniques I know are only stop-gap techniques to be used until you can get to your therapist.
Hey, thanks for coming here. I hope that you feel that you always have someone safe to talk to here. I also hope that your parents will know that you really need support right now. First of all, there's nothing wrong with you. It's okay to be gay. In fact, it's wonderful. The world is a tough place, but I have faith that you can handle it, even when people tell you that it's not okay. Remember, the world is a huge place, so even if it feels like you're being hated on from all sides, there are millions of people like you in the world, and tens of millions more who are pulling for you. Do whatever feels safe, but it looks like your parents are going to find out what they found out. Don't be scared. (*hug*)
Ouch, thats definately not a great way to 'come out' to anyone... so sorry for you! Well at least you don't have to keep it a secret from your dad anymore, even though it wasn't intended ^^' Erm i strongly suggest you ask your dad not to tell your mum about you being gay (if that is what you want) because anyone should respect a topic this fragile, if he doesn't then what a horrible dad you have. He does however have the right to tell your mum about you cutting yourself because that is something which you should not be doing D: So whatever you do, please just accept yourself for who you are, I know its hard, we have all been there but if you want to be happy then we can only move forward by accepting ourselves. (*hug*)
My dad is 100% fine with them, he already knows as I said and doesn't seem to have issues with it. My mom is also fine with them, but I feel like it's one of those, "Yeah, but not my son. I don't know what my mom will say. Yes, they are generally supportive, but my mom and I've been having a terrible relationship lately, and arguing all the time. If you could go over some of those techniques here, that would be nice. I don't have a therapist, but my dad says after my schedule becomes less busy he will help me find one.
You need to consider this: Did your dad find out that you are gay or that you cut yourself? Or maybe he mixed up both? If I was a parent, I would definitely panic finding out that my child cut himself. I don't know how your parents think and what's their generally attitude towards homosexualism, but you have to wait for things to cool down a bit. Your parents may overreact because they worry for you, not because they think that their son is a worthless piece of gay garbage. But if the second turns out to be the case, be glad that at least your secret is revealed and everything that was to happen happened, because keeping the secret would pull you away from your your family and you would always be tortured by the question "What if I tell them?". Anyways, keep your head up and brace yourself for a huge change in your life (positive or negative). I wish you good luck! Updating: It seems your dad belongs to the first case I described, so everything seems to be ok. Now, as far as your mom is concerned, I don't think you should worry about your relationship. You are her child, her only and most beloved possession. She must be really selfcentered to reject you for being gay or cutting yourself because of a bunch of bad moments. If she is a caring mom, she will understand the significance of the situation and come right away to the rescue.
Okay, the way most therapists, AFAIK, advise their clients to control the desire to self-harm is through mindfulness and grounding. That's certainly what I do. Mindfulness is the art of watching and observing your thoughts. It's noticing what thought patterns you have, and what you're thinking and feeling at any given moment. Sometimes just recognizing the fact that I want to self-harm is enough to quell the desire. Grounding is the art of moving your attention from your mind to your body by engaging the senses. This can be as simple as concentrating on your breath, looking around the room and describing everything in it, or running cold water over your hands. One really good technique is to slowly unpeel and eat an orange, noticing the unique color, odor, texture, and taste. If the desire becomes really strong, I've found holding ice against my skin to be very effective, too. Finally, if you can't control yourself by grounding, call a crisis line. A crisis line can help walk you through more complex techniques for control.
