Ok so I'm pretty much still in the closet except to a few people although I decided that I was ready to start a slow process of coming out to everyone. Recently I had the idea that I wanted to check out the LGBT Student Services Center at my university only because I hadn't been there before and I was curious to see what it was like. Also maybe because this would be the first time going anywhere specifically "gay oriented" (like a gay bar or PFLAG meeting). The thing is, when the time came, I took ten steps out of the elevator (it's on the second floor), thought "nope", turned around, and left as quickly as I could. For some weird reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was scared. Now don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly happy with myself and my sexuality but...I don't know, I just could not walk in there. I guess I kept thinking "what if they don't like me?", "I've never done anything like this before", "what am I even doing here?". Does anybody else find this weird? Is this done sort of hidden internalized homophobia? I feel so lame... :bang:
I don't think it's that unusual if you are not that out (or not out at all), and hey if it is then I'm weird too because I did roughly the same thing last week. The aim was to go into one of the LGBT friendly coffee shops in the gay area of the city and order something. I didn't even make it down the street.:icon_sad: I dunno...baby steps? I'm not too sure why I freaked out either. Well done on coming out to some people though.
i've also been really confused lately and had the exact same thing, second time i got to the door but practically ran away.Third time lucky i forced myself in there, walk fast get in and think ' whats the worst that can happen', i went in it was quiet and i borrowed a book, chatted a bit,baby steps. you'll be surprised by how nice it is to be somewhere where people just know, they won;t pry or judge, its peaceful good luck with it x
