So I've been crushing on this girl for a while (she is gay). I thought I was getting some signs from her, and we both seemed to be making an extra effort to hang out with each other and going out of our way to do so. She definitely seems to want to spend time with me. She just got back from a long trip away and called me up right when she got back, wanted to hang out, we spent a lot of time together, I thought things were really looking up. Now it seems we've hit this weird patch in the last two weeks and I feel like there's this weird awkwardness between us. Like, she will initiate contact and want to hang out, yet just seems very awkward and shy when we are together. She seems to treat me differently than her other friends, like she tends not to speak to me first, but will open up a bit when I talk to her. She can be touchy with our other friends but seems to avoid close contact with me. At first glance this makes me upset because it would seem that she doesn't like me, but others have said this could be a good sign as well, maybe she is just nervous around me. Her aloof behavior throws me off when I'm getting up my courage to try to get closer / flirt / do SOMETHING. I like her so so much, and this attraction and uncertainty is KILLING me. I'm actually kind of depressed and it's beginning to really affect me. I'm talking to my therapist about it too, but I'm just not getting anywhere. Another problem is that she's in my group of gay friends. I would hate to stop seeing them as much if things got awkward between me and my crush if she didn't reciprocate. But at this point I just don't know if I can go on like this....my feelings got so strong. I've only just come out a few months ago, and I"ve never been with another girl / told someone I liked them / tried to flirt or pursue anyone I've truly been interested in. I just have no idea what I'm doing. And it's stressing me out. :tears: :bang: The prospect of telling her I like her is almost as scary as the fear I had when I was first coming out to someone. How in the world do I proceed? Say eff it and just tell her? Try to hang out with her more one on one and break the tension? Ask her on a date? What are things you guys have done in this situation?
HEy, i've been in that exact same situtation. Thats akwardness is because she's aware of your feelings and she doesn't know if she likes you back or not. Trust me, you're both on the same page of not knowing what to do. This weirdness between you guys will lighten up, just give it time. All you can do is wait. I've had the same weirdness between me and the girl i like for about 6 months now. It's finally lightened up and we can laugh about things. It just takes time.
Hey I think its up to you whether or not you tell her, but you will never know unless you ask, of course there is a chance it could make your friendship weird but I dont think it has to. She might not like you and then you will have to start moving on, but she might like you and be going through the same thing you are, all for no reason.
I had the same sort of situation too. I really wanted to tell this girl that I liked her but in my case, I had never done that before in my entire life. So I what I did was set deadlines - I'll tell her at lunch, but if I can't find her I'll tell her in the next lunch break. But I had to do it that day because the following day was public holiday and I couldn't stand the thought of telling her/not having her know for any longer. I just told myself that I needed to tell her before the public holiday otherwise I'd have an axiety attack or something :lol: I told her that day and we're finally getting somewhere now. If you really want to her tell how you feel (or have a weird compulsion to tell her, like I did ) but lack the courage, or are too nervous then set some timeframes for yourself. And I know what you mean about not knowing how she'll react - if it'll be weird or not. For me, I basically said "Screw it, nothing that's so bad it can't be fixed will happen. Just go for it already!".
