Theres this friend who looks pretty gay, you know the way he moves and talks, I know you should never judge a person by his appearance or anything, but Ive heard people say he really is gay, and on top of that, I sometimes feel he is very nice to me, but like not in a straight dude way. I would like to know if he´s gay, cause if he is, he would be the first gay person I know besides myself :dry:. But if he isnt, I know people get very offended by the question, and I dont want him to feel offended. And also in another scenario, if I asked him and he was, and so told him I was gay too, and he likes me (lol my high selfesteem ), or maybe he thinks I like him, but I really dont like him that way, how should I handle it. If you guys could help me out it would be great, cause I would really like to have a gay friend, and he might be, so how should I ask him?
Ohkay. Well... try to be a good, trustworthy person, staying open-minded and make sure he knows it! He may tell you eventually, based on how much he trusts you. Do this if you want him to tell you first. But, you could come out to him, and he might see that as a major step, and might trust you in return, coming out to you. THAT IS, IF he's gay. Just be a friend to him. Things'll work out Good luck!
If you're not already out to him, then you should just out yourself to him and leave it at that. Because then, the ball is in his court. If you're gay and out, and he knows you're gay and out, then chances are, he will be too if he is in fact gay. And if he isn't, then you'll know either way. I think that by being so direct about it, by bluntly asking any sort of question, you might be inviting trouble and plus, just think about it for a minute. If you were you closeted, would you want someone to confront you about your sexuality like that?
I'm in the same situation as you except I am in love with my friend. My friend told me that everyone thought he was gay too in school. I immediately picked up that vibe the first time I met him too. My best advice would be to try to test him first. Start talking about girls and see what his response is. I'm sure there are some open gay people in you area though.
