Hi... Ok! I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I am freaking out. I got a girlfriend, who is ok with me being trans and everything! Well, at least she says that. She is Bi, but she has admitted to 'wanting a Female's touch'...when we got together, I told her I could not give her that...and she said she was ok with that... Everything was going great, until I told her I was going out to visit a friend of mine, and she got jealous. I told her there was nothing going on between us, and we were just friends... she continued to be jealous, so I went and introduced them. The moment she met my friend, she seemed to stop being jealous, and she found she liked her, and wanted to be friends with her... so the two exchanged facebook accounts... only, now I guess its my turn to be jealous. Since the two of them met, they have been talking to each other on the phone all day - they both told me - while I was at work, and they have been seeing more of each other then I even see of her. They talk about things behind my back... like one thing - my gf said to my friend that 'I am not fulfilling her needs' and she was upset about it. Of course my friend told me, but when I tried to bring it up with her, she dodged the question and would not answer me. idk! I wish I could fulfill her needs... but being trans... the thought of doing anything sexual with 'those parts' of my body is disgusting... and that's what she wants to do... I was debating on buying a strap on for her... but I don't have that kind of money... On top of that, she said her house is a 'strictly no touching zone' because of her parents are in the same house, but I can't take her to mine, because I don't live in town, and lets just say my parents don't get along too well with her. She wants me to go out and rent a 'hotel room for us' so I can 'fulfill her needs' ...but again, I am on minimum wage, with very little/no spending money for that sort of stuff... I am just really jealous/irritated that my friend is seeing more of my gf then I am... its after midnight, and my friend is over at my gf's for the night right now. Something I am not allowed to do because of her parents. I just don't know what to do! Should I be worried? Am I just being jealous? My friend was complaining to my gf that 'without a girlfriend, I have no reason to live' and 'my life is worthless without a girl to share it with'... and now she's staying the night with her. I feel awful for being so jealous, but every time I try to bring it up, my gf dodges the question, and my friend just says 'I'm to loyal for that dude! Don't worry!' I just don't know what to do! I feel awful... D: Do any of you have any advise for me? Anything at all?
This is a tough one. The fact of the matter is that you feel uncomfortable about all of this. It's making you feel jealous and upset. You're not feeling good about your relationship with your girlfriend. All these feelings are legitimate and true because they're yours. They're YOUR feelings, which makes them important. So I think it's time for you to share how you're feeling. Don't let her just 'brush it off' because that's not fair - these are your feelings and they're important. She needs to understand that. If sharing how you're feeling about all this doesn't seem to work, then you'll need to set some boundaries around your relationship. If you're not comfortable having your bisexual girlfriend spending the night with another woman, then you need to say so. But you need to decide how important this is to you. Because if you set a boundary and she crosses it, you need to be prepared to walk - because she has demonstrated that she doesn't care about how you feel or about the boundaries that you need in your relationship.
Thank you Jim I know I'd just feel awful if it turns out they are just friends. I know she is Bi, and I have a bad feeling that she's looking 'for the best of both worlds'. I'm so confused...she went and bought my friend a sterling silver bracelet with her name engraved on it... I'm just starting to think I'd be better forever alone...
It's ok if you want your girlfriend to spend more time with you rather than that mutual friend. Talking to her and sharing the feeling is the best move. She can't refuse talking because it's about your relationship and she should care about your sadness and dissatisfaction. And that's the next step for sure. You won't be forever alone my friend. That'll be ok even if this doesn't go well , there are girls out there waiting for you so be optimist.
