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Is this an acceptance issue?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ty, Jan 7, 2008.

  1. Ty

    Ty Guest

    Okay well, whilst chewing my finger, I was doing some deep thinking and I know It sounds silly... But I don't actually think I believe I'm gay :S

    Like, I wouldn't care if I'm gay, I'm pretty sure I am like 99% sure but there's this kind of little nag which says "No, you can't be gay" its weird :S and here I thought I was accepting of my homosexuality which I'm sure I'm have but my subconscious can't seem to handle >.>

    Maybe this little voice will fade, but it does ruin some self belief but IDK, I'm SURE I'm gay, I like guys, I enjoy looking at guys more than girls, Its logical Im gay, but why can't I get around this?


    I realize that might not make sense, but its kind of the ramblings of the conversation I was having with myself in my head, so it might only make sense to me hehe... I'll retype it if its really bad.


    /Ty
     
  2. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

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    Maybe it is 15 years of subconscious conditioning by the world around you that straight is the way everyone lives their lives, and you can't quite see how living a gay life fits in with that?
     
  3. Gustav

    Regular Member

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    Exactly. . .
     
  4. Ty

    Ty Guest

    Maybe...

    Im still in disbelief im gay though, don't mistake that for meaning I dislike the idea of being gay, cause i would be happy to be so, im just not sure if i believe it or not though. I know that I am but... blah

    Confusing >.>
     
  5. s5m1

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    I understand what you are saying and and kinda dealing with the same feelings. I have come to realize and accept it but there is still this slight, nagging doubt. As others above have said, we are dealing with what society has taught us. Sexuality is also on a continuum, so it is possible you are not entirely at one end. In any event, as for me, I have decided that I am clearly at least bisexual and possibly gay. I am not going to struggle with trying to figure out which it is and just hope that I will become more clear about it as time goes by and I become even more accepting of it. What has been key to me in the last few months is learning to accept that whichever it is, it is okay. I don't think there is a need to force yourself to exactly figure it out now. I don't know that that is possible - it will just come with time. Just accept that no matter what you decide you are, it is okay.
     
  6. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    From the sound of it, that voice is probably society's conditioning telling you that it's wrong to be gay. I don't know if you can answer this question, but why do you think that you are not gay?
     
  7. WheelerBoi

    WheelerBoi Guest

    I had the same sort of thoughts as you seem to be...Paul did a good job of writing down what i was thinking.

    For me, it wasn't that i thought being gay was wrong, i just thought that i'd be giving people the wrong impression of me if i said i was gay.

    i knew the stereotypes....i don't know how 2 say this but...i didn't want to loose my sense of who i was and become 'a gay'.

    That didn't happen - although i have been known to have detailed conversations with girls about hair :lol:
     
  8. Jim1454

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    Just give it time. Don't worry about being 100% sure.

    You've got a lot of stuff to figure out at your age. Don't sweat it.
     
  9. ebra

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    Aw hun, its hard to see you struggle so much.

    Try to just sit back and relax, dont over analyze everything, just take things day by day, you dont need a lable, and you dont need to stick to one path. be who you are and not your sexuality. dont close doors but dont refuse to open other doors either, you know?

    You will figure it out, I hope you find your peace soon *hugs*