Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, am living at university but still close to my parents. I've had no problems with telling people about it, and am really really happy with her so I felt recently it was necessary to tell my parents as it would take a weight off my shoulders and hopefully they would appreciate it. My mum has not had the best reaction and I'm not sure how to deal with it/her. My dad is THE most understanding, caring person and has literally said everything perfectly. However my mum has only spoken to me since through my dad, and has had to get meds to help her sleep at night, didn't go to work the day after I told them etc. She hasn't asked me how I am, she just spoke to be for about 3 minutes on the phone saying the doctor said it was normal how she reacted and she said she will find 'support' from groups of other parents... I knew, as a daughter-mother thing she wouldn't find it easy but I feel this has ruined our relationship, which used to be really good, and aside from feeling incredibly upset, guilty and everything else, I don't know how to act to her. She makes me feel like I've just been diagnosed with an illness or something.
Hi, welcome to EC. I would just generally focus on other things and let time do it's job, you are lucky to have a very caring father, a lot of people, including myself don't even have one supportive parent. So long as one family member supports you, that is all you need. Your mother will be fine, she just needs more time.
Congratulations for having the courage to tell your parents! It's a shame that your mother is having such a hard time coping with the news but really amazing that your dad is so supportive. I saw a youtube video once, where someone's mum said that the moment you tell your mother that you're a lesbian, she goes to the closet. She will then have to go through everything you went through before you were ready to accept yourself. But she will come around. She will be fine. It will just take some time. I'm sorry your relationship feels like it's been ruined. I'm sure it will all be fine once she's had some time to process the "new situation", and realised that not much has changed really. I wish you all the best. Hang in there!
Hey its tough that you Mum is reacting that way but im sure she will come around and I think the doctor was right she probably needs to meet other Parents who have been through what she is going through to here there experience and see that they came out the other side. Often what parents go through is like what we go through, they have to come to terms with it. Please try not to feel guilty or upset with yourself you did completely the right thing and in time your Mum will agree that you did. Perhaps you could try and find some PFLAG information for her, or if you are not living to far away suggest that you find a group and go together. If you cannot make it, seeing as your Dad is super supportive perhaps he would go with her.
Unfortunately not all parents handle it easily. Your mum is probably cannot stop her thoughts blowing in her head and maybe angry with you. Even though she is in such a bad mood, it's promising that she decided to seek support, that means she is ready to confront it somehow. When she calms down a bit, I hope everything will get better. You just need some time - I mean, my parents still feel a bit dizzy when they think of my orientation and sometimes we argue about it (though their attitude and fondness towards me haven't changed a bit :love, after 6 months. So the process is not so quick, ready to be patient
Hi, welcome to EC, I hope you find it nice and cozy in here. We have cookies! ^^ Like others have said, patience is key. She'll come around eventually, she just needs to get used to it. All (well, most) parents go through their own process of coming out: the getting used to that their daughter or son is LGBTQ. Just give her a little time, maybe not bringing up the topic for a while might be best. Patience is a virtue, my friend. :icon_wink But if she's being mean and nasty -- sorry, what I mean to say is homophobic (my vocabulary died there for a second), then, like silverhalo said, you should show her a bit of resources to help her out. I definitely recommend PFLAG also, it's one of the best ones out there when queers come out to their parents. Another option is having your dad talk to her. You did say your dad was super supportive of it so maybe she just needs to see that he's fine with it and she should be too. It might help a little with her thinking and her own coming out process. Also, this hasn't ruined your relationship. Unless your mom or dad specifically said that you're not allowed to date girls, it's fine. As I said, your mom just needs to get used to it. She'll come around eventually. Finally, it's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. Actually, this is a good thing! You've finally came out to your parents! Be proud of yourself, because you've just done a very brave and courageous thing, my friend. Coming out is one of the hardest things that LGBTQ have to do, and you've done it. I wish you the best of luck with this situation. Keep us updated. ^^
