I'm 15, and live in a rural, conservative area. At the start of High School I was really geeky and shy, but as time went on I bean to come out of my shell and three years on I have quite a few good friends. Living in the country I feel has made making friends a little harder, and over the past year I've been quite preoccupied with figuring out my sexuality. I now feel that I've managed to "come in," but am beginning to feel a bit isolated. I have a mixed group of friends, but don't have much in common with straight guys. All they want to talk abut are cars, sports and girls. I've never been into cars, only watch sports when Ritchie Gray is playing :love: , and needless to say am not into girls. But because It's taken me so long to figure this out, my friends who are girls haven't really taken me into their group: I am simply never invited. I feel stuck. I don't want to play football with the lads, but by going over to my girlfriends' house might arouse suspicion as to my sexuality. My current alternative is doing neither and being a loner. While I'm more than able to be content on my own, I sometimes feel that this level of isolation is not normal. In short I feel that my closeted sexuality is acting as a barrier to forming friendships and having a social life, but coming out is not quite something that I'm ready to commit to yet. Please help!!!
Hi Chutney ^^ I can relate to being left out most of the time and not wanting to play sports with the guys, but the girls I was friends with were more like acquantances u_u anyway I couldn't hang with them if I wanted to because that would just create suspicion on being outed. So you're just stuck in no-mans-land :lol: Its ok though, you're really young being 15 so just concentrate on getting good grades and wait until you start college at 16/17?. Then make an enormous effort in making friends there. If you're thinking 'oh im so alone right now' well yeah just tough it out for another year but theres not much you can do... In college, people are more understanding in people's sexuality and the immaturity you get in secondary school is effectively gone so its a nice time to come out (if you are comfortable doing so of course). Hang in there! (*hug*)
I can remember feeling like this. Though I dindnt live in rural Scotland, I did live in the middle of a really rural backwards conservative area up in the mountains in California, so I kind of understand where you are coming from. The difference was I came out as a freshman, and nobody really invited me because I was the nasty gay guy that nobody liked. However, I became one of the most popular people at my school, because I stayed friendly to everyone, and the issue of my sexuality was not something that really came up often because I didnt let what others thought and said effect me that often. I, in order to make friends, had to interject myself into situations, because I wouldn't have ever been invited otherwise. Perhaps when you want to hang out with friends you should just ask. If you dont have the courage to ask then you can assume the answer will continue to be no. I hope that helped a little.
Well, keep in mind that not all gay guys only have female friends, and not all straight guys only do masculine things. One of my closer guy friends (who is straight, and has a girlfriend) spends the majority of his time hanging out with other girls. So, hang out with your friends, the people you want to hang out with; that's why they're there, right? And if someone asks, you can remind them what I said above, and deny/change the subject. Though if they're your friends, they'll be asking because they're concerned, not out of malicious intent. And if they're your friends, they should back off if you tell them you aren't. Though, I think the best advice is to just tell them you like guys, if they are your friends
