i know they'll be fine with it when i come out, i know they'll be happy for me but nothing will ever be the same, all their hopes and dreams for my future they will always want me to be straight and my mum will probably see it as a massive loss for HER not really about me i just cant bare to tell them and ruin all that, they think im happy, i had a boyfriend this year, this will completely blind side them :/
It's okay. It's not your fault. It's okay to be gay. And parents always come around. Nothing here is your fault, and you've done nothing wrong. Don't try to blame yourself for this -- you didn't fail anybody. And if your parents truly love you, they'll come around. All parents do. It just means that their hopes and dreams will be replaced with new ones. Better ones. Think of it that way.
shit happens. That's how I have learned to deal with it. I havent considered coming out to my parents yet, but I know the day will come when I feel i need to. luckily for me they are seperated and i accepted their new lives and new partners etc, so I feel they will be more accepting of me because of that. Also I can imagine they will compete with each other on the 'who can act more accepting' front. haha but yeah it is hugely difficult. there is no easy answer. don't blame yourself. It is the situation you are in, you can either deal with it as positively as you can or as negatively as you can. It will make you a stronger person in the long run. also, have you considered just leaving it a while longer before you tell them? My plan is leaving it a few years until they sorta start to guess. haha, that might sound retarded and probably is.
This is not about your parents. It's about who you are and who you love. You don't have a duty to give your parents grandchildren. They might have a sense of loss, but boo hoo.
They probably have hopes and dreams that aren't about being straight. They probably want you to be responsible and educated, have meaningful work and a happy life. You can still do all of those things. If it's about grandchildren, you can have children in a lesbian relationship, and you can be straight as anything and choose not to have children.
