It Hurts

oh the curse of the straight best friend. Your not alone, I am with you there buddy. (*hug*) I got a crush on my best friend's friend and we all hang out together a lot. I for sure don't want to tell any of them because it would make things so awkward, and I don't think it would serve any real purpose because she is really really straight. And you never want to lose that great friendship.

I don't know ... if you find a cure for that feeling let me know. I am hoping that once I start meeting more gay girls out there, I would stop feeling this way about her.

Here is a video I thought was helpful, and they got a couple. Let me know if it helps. Step Away From The Straight Girl - YouTube

Good luck!!


PS... here is more straight... gay - YouTube , Lesbian's Ode to Straight Women - YouTube

 

I dont think not being friends will benefit either on of you. On the other hand its not ok for you to be in pain. I think as you begin to expose yourself to more lesbian girls you will get over this crush. Or just reminding yourself that those feelings are just mixed up emotions that come from kindness. She is probably kind and compassionate towards you, and you support her and feel like you can rely on her, that strength and stability in your friendship is what makes you feel this way, just identify that, and realize that its not intimate in a dating sense. I went through the same thing, and I think most gay people do, and trust me it takes a long time to get over it, but again, nobody wins if you cut her out of your life completely.

Sending love,

 

Going through the same thing right now. It hurts ALOT.

 

Well, since she knows how you feel about her, you can tell her honestly that you just need to have some space for a while to get past it. It doesn't have to be a permanent end to your friendship.

 

I hate this situation... I was in it and boy, was it upsetting.
But there is a solution.
I don't think one or two is the solution. You need a one and a half solution. An inbetween. I think you can still remain friends with her, but just try distancing yourself from her a little bit. Make different friends. Anything. Eventually the crushing and the pain will fade away with time. And I can tell you that from personal experience.

 

I was in a similar situation to you last year. I met a guy through a mutual friend in January of last year, and I was very attracted to him. He was single and never had a girlfriend before and his actions led me to believe that he might be gay, or so I thought. This was before I had told anyone that I was gay btw. During that summer we started hanging out a lot (like seeing each other once/twice a day) and my feelings for him grew. However, in September to my surprise he told me he started seeing someone and I took it pretty hard. This is how I dealt with the situation: I forced myself not to purposely talk to him for a good 2/3 weeks. If he texted me or I saw him I would be cordial but I would not try to initiate conversation with him. I think he realized what I was doing but I told him that I was just really busy with school. Fast forward to now, and we are still friends. Definitely not as good friends as we were in the summer, but I think this is for the best as I don't want to start developing feelings for him again. It's not awkward between us though (and it shouldn't be, seeing as he never knew the feelings I had for him). I'm rambling....anyways what I think is.....as hard as it is for you to hear, I think you should start seeing less of her. You can remain friends but I think it's tough to be "best" friends and not have these feelings for her. At least that's what I think. Hope this helped

 

I have been in love with my flat mate and best friend for 3 years and i completely understand. We are such good friends. i come across as a regular straight guy and no one knows i am gay. He has a girlfriend (who is not good enough for him, but if course i'd say that) and is really comfortable with his sexuality, so we have always had an overly close relationship, we hug a lot, he'll jump on top of my bed to wake me up, we'll play fight etc (we are hugely childish!) and he will joke about how gay we are. IT KILLS ME. I know some of you will say 'he might be gay, but dont taunt me, i know for sure that he isnt.

We are both studying abroad at the moment and i miss him everyday. It's horrible, I have never loved anyone the way I love him. People joke about is being such a couple, and I honestly dont even care about a physical relationship, I just love being around him everyday. I don't know when or if i will ever get over him. I imagine his wedding day and me there, happy for him but being so sad inside.

god i got a bit deep. really let it out. :/

 

I was reading this hoping it would help me. I feel a little better knowing I am not alone in the situation. But I'm still clueless how I should handle this. I have been in love with my best friend for 3 years. He know how I feel and he's ok with that. There are several problems that just make it hurt even more. First, he is my coworker. So I am forced to see him several times a week. Second, I am an introvert, so I don't have a lot of close friends. I only have about 4 good friends and one passed away and another is moving to Europe after this summer for school. Third, every one of his friends, including his sister, and all of our coworkers are convinced that he and I will be together (some think we are secretly a couple already). I just can't take him hitting on girls in front of me anymore. Even though he is never successful with them and has never had a girlfriend, it still hurts. I just don't understand how he can make me so happy, yet so sad. My heart can't take anymore and I just don't want to see him anymore. But since I have to (again, we work together), I don't know how to fix the situation. I don't feel it's fair to him because it's not his fault I love him so much, but when it hurts to the point that I cry, where does that leave us? I don't want to lose him, because we both don't have many other friends to turn to. I've tried dating other guys, but they don't work out. They are not him. I guess I just need input from someone who has been in this situation.

 

Yup, pretty much going through the same thing here. I guess the best thing you could do, and this is going to sound IMPOSSIBLE, is to deal with it. I think it would hurt you and your friend more harm than good if you were to stop being friends full stop.
Perhaps you could ask her not to keep going on about the boy she likes around you, and because she's your friend and cares for you, she should calm it down a bit. Or you could meet some more gay girls to take your mind off her? I don't know, but anything other than those two things that you felt you should do. They would just cause you both so much pain.
Good luck x

 

In the same situation except she doesn't know I love her. Just try to creat new hobbies and try to forget your feelings toward her.