For 4 years my strait guy friends and I have been planning this great senior trip to Florida to see Disney land, universal, and so on this summer. Ever since I came out to them 2 months ago, they have avoided talking of it in front of me purposely (Like I would forget about going somewhere like Disney land). Anyways, today one of my friends flipped shit when I asked him why he worked all weekend. He said, "Cause I'm saving for Florida! And I don't care, if you still want to come!" He said it as though he had a problem with me going. This friend has been tolerant to me in the past, but the way he exploded seems as though he has a problem with me. Should I still insist on going to Florida for my senior trip?:eusa_thin Damn homophobia! :bang:
It depends if you think you'll enjoy it with them, as the situation is now. It's your money, so if you think it's going to be crap with these guys then don't waste the money. I think you need to sit down with them and sort this out. "Look, why are you all avoiding mentioning Florida now? What's going on? Are we all going or not?" Then based on their reaction you'll know better where you are with them. How are things between yo and them generally? Are they still good friends in other ways or has things changed generally?
This is so wierd, because I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. When I lived in Jersey, my friends, brother, and I all planned to go to Florida at the end of our junior year. We all knew that the summer after senior year we would be busy with college stuff and what not, so we decided that summer would be a good last bang for all of us. Obviously, I've lived in Georgia for the past several years and have come out since I moved. We had all worked out a big plan, that my brother and I would drive to I-95 and meet them in Savannah and we'd all drive down together. But now none of them will talk to me about the trip. Honestly, I could care less about it being Florida. My dad lives there and I go all the time because it's so close. But I'd still like the chance to see all of them and spend time with them before we all go to college. What I'm going to do very soon is just bluntly ask them if I'm still welcome to go or not. I'm tired of hearing my brother talking about it with them all the time, and it's honestly pissing me off. Maybe that's what you should do too.
Well, on top of what Paul said, and if the responses to his questions are generally negative, I think you need to ask yourself if you did go, would you have to spend a lot of time around them or could you fly solo? The reason I'm asking is... I know this will sound corny or something, but Disney World is somewhere everyone should visit at least once - I absolutely love it. Yeah, there are some parts of it that are childish, but most parts are just awesome. If you don't think you'll have another chance, and you feel like you could go "with" them but enjoy it on your own, I would say go. It's less fun without friends, but still worth it I'd say... UNLESS they will make you miserable. Don't ruin it for yourself. I guess what I'm saying is... do you think you'd have fun if you did go, whether with them or without, and do you think the opportunity will present itself again while you're still relatively young and able to energetically enjoy the bulk of it (no offense older people)?
They are generally good friends, and i can always talk to them; as long as it does not involve homosexuality. We used to be best friends, they would invite me everywhere, they are more accepting than other strait guys at my school, and I can have a lot of fun with them. Though, I don't know why they seem to be in the closet about their new opinion of me. They think, in my opinion, that tolerating and being accepting is ignoring the truth that their friend is gay, rather than confronting it. They make me angry when they pretend to be nice to me, when i know that they have a problem and will not talk about it. I really want to go to Florida, since i have never been there, and it will be fun. my only concern is: Do they want me there? Would i be raining on their parade if i go?
If you think you'd still enjoy yourself, it could be a very good thing for all of you if you go. It could very well give them the chance to see that being gay doesn't make you any different than you were before they knew. They'd sorta be "forced" to hang out with you. It could be a very eye opening experience for them. If their homophobia isn't horrible and you think could be diminished some by having some more interaction, then perhaps you should still go. Of course, if you think this might be a truly horrible experience for you, then I wouldn't, but if they've still remained friends to a degree at least, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Also, this could be a good opportunity to really talk about it. You won't really be able to avoid each other. Just be honest and open with them. And maybe you could spend some one on one time with each of them at some point while you're there, so that they might be more open to talking about it with you. They could learn a lot from this. And not to mention...DISNEY FREAKING WORLD! I wouldn't want to miss out on that!
