I don't mean to sound like a whiny b*, but I'm really cranky and tired and just don't feel like I can go on (no I'm not suicidal). I first thought I might be gay when I was about 11. I'm 17 now. Six years I've questioned my sexuality, at some times more than others, and all I have to show for it is I think I might be gay. Don't let the "orientation" spot on my profile mislead you, I have no clue. I feel like my life is just standing still because I can't figure out this one thing. I think I might even be trying to make myself think about guys and not girls because being gay is better than being stuck in this limbo. I even think to myself if I'm cuddling with a girl "don't get an erection because you're gay and this doesn't turn you on", though it does. Not to say that there's anything wrong with being gay if that's who you are, but I feel like I'm trying to force myself to be gay sometimes. I just want my life to go on without constantly doubting my every thoughts. When does this haze of questioning clear and I can see what I am? How do you know which thoughts are because you have an attraction and what thoughts are because you're trying to change yourself?
You haven't mentioned the possibility that you might be bisexual, which is what would be indicated by attraction to people of both genders. Why is that? I mean, the simplest explanation is that all of your attractions, to both men and women, are genuine. And, to me, your avoidance of it also makes it seem more likely--when we are struggling with accepting the truth about ourselves, there is a part of us that will avoid the truth at all costs. If you get a much worse feeling from confronting the idea that you might be bisexual than you get from the idea of being gay, then being bisexual is probably what you are really in denial about. Give yourself permission to have feelings for whomever you have them for.
Yep, exactly. Everything's better than to be stuck at the same point for ages. You've just described the way I feel, therefore I'm afraid I can't give you any helpful advice. So I just wish you luck with all this, you'll figure it out eventually
I just really don't want to be bi because I'm afraid my friends will understand that less than me being gay, and I just don't like the way bisexual sounds (no offense to bi people). Idk, you may have a point about the denial thing, gosh I just would really rather not be bi.
This post describes my life - or, at least, my recent life. We're in the same boat i suppose... being bisexual kind of freaks me out as well. I'd rather be gay and i know that, if i am bisexual, i probably lean toward girls, but im not sure. everything is so confusing. its so exhausting as i'm sure you know. My point is: your not alone. stay strong
As you know, we can't choose our sexuality. It really does sound like you're bisexual in denial, and if you're bisexual, then you're bisexual. There's no denying it. It really does sound like you could be bisexual. Nobody can tell you who you are but I think you just need an open mind and think about the possibility that you might be bisexual. Just remember that. xx There's nothing wrong with being straight, bisexual, gay, pansexual, asexual, or anything in between. You're going to have to have an open mind about everything or you'll find yourself in denial of who you truly are, and therefore, always stuck in the questioning phase. I hope this helped. xx
As far as not liking the way it sounds, I sort of understand what you mean. For awhile, I actually identified with bisexuality, because I found both men and women attractive. But that was long before I really began to question myself, so it felt that I was just assuming an orientation without really understanding my feelings, thus I didn't feel the need or desire to talk to anyone about my sexuality. At this point, I think of myself as something like a Kinsey 5, a gay man who happens to find certain women attractive. :lol: The thing is, other than mentioning that you've been questioning your sexuality, your original post seemed to focus more on your attraction to women, mentioning that you've imagined yourself cuddling with a girl and getting turned on by it. But if you feel the same way about other men, you may be bisexual, though that doesn't necessarily mean you have equal interest in both sexes. From what I've seen, there are bi people who are roughly 50/50, ones who are more the 'straight' side, ones who are more on the 'gay' side. And of course, if you feel you're more interested in men or desire to be with one, nothing is stopping you from identifying as gay. Just remember, no matter how long it takes, you are the only one who can define your sexuality.
yeah, until actually doing something about it, like actually falling in mutual love with another person you really don't know for sure. i did fall for a girl, but i also had thought i was maybe straight girl because i really had connections for 1st time a few years ago to a man. so if I'm right that I'm transgender, i could be straight with just a wee bit of gay inside, for at least one man. talk about weird.
I was questioning from the age of 15 right up until this Christmas just gone - everything became settled in my mind in the last few months. I suppose it's different for everyone really.
That's exactly what I feel! I am so freaking mad and out of all the feelings I have ever experienced, not knowing who I am is one of my least favourite ones :bang: Many people say that we don't need labels, but how do I come out to my family (which I really want to do) when I don't even know, whether I'm a bi, lesbian, transgender or anything! :bang: When is this finally going to stop?! :tears: I kind of like one boy from my class and we are really good friends, but I wouldn't go out with him, because I'm just trying to find out who I am and I think I'm even trying to persuade myself that I am a lesbian, because I just want to be someone :icon_sad: So, I totally share your feelings and hope we will finally find out soon! (&&&) (*hug*)
