women!

i just realized something. epiphany.

i do not understand nor have i ever truly understood women.



ok, how is that possible?

i studied them since i 1st met them!

i read 17 magazine and every single Nancy Drew book! i hated judy bloom's freaky books, fired no way in hell girls in real life think that way! could they??

i studied history of fashion, i got lots of the frilly clothes! i grew up surrounded by them, a family full of those estrogen-bearing lovely, weirder than heck women!

tonight i was confused, misunderstood, made to feel about an inch tall, and if i had been endowed with a penis it would have shrunk to a nubbin. she just is so frustrating! WHY??

how can they be so bitchy, bossy, know it all, always right~but really always wrong, crazy, multitasking 10 things at once, controlling, forgetful, self centered, cold, pretty, witty, talented, different, blow my mind away, steal my soul when I'm not paying attention and utterly exasperating same time i can't stop thinking about her!

WHY??

why can't women think more...like men! Argh!!

 

NOOO!! Girl, I swear to you I DO NOT HATE women! omg, that is my problem, I didn't want to fall for this girl, see? Gosh, I saw her on oovoo, she was crying then saying she wants to hit someone. Then id say something and shed smile. then next day same says she misses me, asks about my day, wants me to comment on her pix where she is in a dress. i see someone said she's a slut, try not to get too pissed off but my post i just defend her that she is not even close because it has sleees and shows no cleavage, just legs. she don't get mad that person says slut though, oh no! she writes to me that my post is weird, she's going to delete it! she then doesn't reply to my pm and my heart is hust yet again by her PMS, which i did not believe existed...until NOW!

btw, i hate nobody, not in my heart to hate. please don't say i hate women, they just confuse the hell outta me!

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 08:43 AM ----------

:tears:
IM NOT SEXIST!

Im just confused, and needed to get this out! i am not a bad person!

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 08:55 AM ----------

Thank GOD! Somebody understands what I'm saying!

I wrote it all, right after i realized this. I thought because i am logical and having been born physically female, assumed i was one of them even though I didn't know how to be one, that I of course would understand the female mind! i got the package and estrogen, right?

FU@K! I guess not! Can a person really be that male-minded to study how to be a girl, and still not comprehend them? I guess i am not like them in many ways i had assumed i could be. what a shock, i don't understand women!

Yeah, "frustrated by lack ofrationalism, logic and argumentation" is perfection how you put it! And yeah, when not being confused or hurt by it, they are cute, and curious, and it attracts me, unfortunately, to them. Being straight transgender male is not going to be easy. I gotta learn how to to upset women now. And how Im gonna deal with this for the rest of my life.

Wish me luck, because brother I'm gonna need it. Patience and a heart protector too.

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 08:57 AM ----------

Fugs, i just gotta ask...you really way to be a kitty cat?
*cute*

 

i actually get men. not saying this for any reason but that they act more sane, maybe wrong word, okay, um they don't act like girls. idk how to put it if you bind me in a PC box tell me I'm stereotyping, and wrong to express what i think! yeah people are complex, we are not all the same, but there are some definite similarities within groups and to deny it either means unwillingness to accept that or inability to see the pattern. i am always happy when a group i find i do feel i belong in, and its because of commonalities.

as for with guys, if they all could not see me as female i would feel so comfortable around most i know, not the bad ones, i am not retarded,i keep away from jerks. but some of my guy friends see me as a tomboy, told me so, almost close enough! i feel open to talk and joke and be myself with them. they get me, we get along, so if i could be a female i bet it would be a great thing for dates and marriage to have someone you love you can not fear pissing off every time you try to speak. I'm not trying to hurt anybody! but i can't be fake either and be a liar and say something i don't think.

i think the purpose of this place is to allow me to ask my legitimate questions, discover who i really am, find out what is normal, ask how to communicate with the people i love. telling me or others on my thread that we are women haters because we we told we were safe to openly tell others what we discover about ourselves in our coming out process just shuts us back inside, it hurt me 2 posters said that. you judge me wrong if you think i hate women. i know some lesbians who hate men, i don't tell them i am a boy inside. hate scares me. if i hated women i would need to be a gay man or asexual. i need to know how to understand better the way the female mind works so i can get along and be not angering them. see??

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 10:00 AM ----------

well said. this is good, you saw them as i do. whew! I'm trig to understand them. i may need more advice about girls. gee. it would be so much easier to just like boys if i can just lean to forget I'm a guy!

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 10:03 AM ----------

yep, well put. how on earth did my mind get created "hunter??" could this be one of the reasons i had so few friends until high school? i thought i was supposed to have female friends because i saw same genders flocking together. me and girls didn't do to well friend wise then, until i was in 9th grade.

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 10:17 AM ----------

please stop calling us names! saying i am misogynist i had to look it up, saying i am hate filled, is wrong! you are trying to stop others from discussing this with me, which than God so far has not stopped some men and women, but you may have succeeded in scaring off others and ill never know. why do you need twice to come onto my post and say what i think is ridiculous? i would never do that to you if you had a post earnestly saying something, about anything. why are you doing this? if you have something to say to HELP me, say that! don't attack or censor me because i am not like you, please!

PEACE

 

huh?
noo! see, you don't see what I'm saying! ugh! i keep trying to say it and a couple of you don't understand. did you ever think it could be because how your mind reads what i say is different than how some of the rest of us see it? thats my whole point! i think i found out i don't get how the female mind works...i want to! DUH! if i can't, fine i will give up. when people say I'm offensive they are too sensitive, I'm not attacking, I'm just stating freely what i discovered. i did look up one post that person calling me a misogynist posted on a thread that is about lesbians, which I'm not, and saw she used that word there too to describe how lesbians in history have had that agaist them. so that leads me to think she has had an anti-lesbian hater hurt her and now only sees red.

ok, lets see if this helps explain my thinking: i heard deafies discussing how some kids stared at them when signing so they figured they were thinking mean thoughts and gawking so they turned around and used voice to tell them off. they agreed with each other, two of them, then i told them ever think they stared cuz they never saw two pretty ladies use ASL before, and were in awe? i warn my friends that they could be right, could be rude jerks, but could be wrong and make their 1st exposure to Deaf bad painful, and make them think all deaf who sign are violent and start to join with oralists to oppress deaf more.

if you assume everyone who says honestly they don't understand women and lists why, and why they are confused because they are attracted to them too, that they should feel shame, and are haters, you just build a wedge wider! don't you see that?

i gotta ask you now, why would you think we are saying all female traits are "not as good or as valuable?" when did i say all female traits are inferior and unimportant? i wouldn't exist without women, straight ones anyways.

see maybe lesbians assume guys are attacking on them? you don't like guys? tell me, so i understand ok? i just state fact, what i think, how it looks when it comes out idk. i have a hard time relating to women BECAUSE they sometimes think I'm insensitive, I'm not! i just don't think like...a woman! thats again my point, this problem!

maybe you can list ways to get along with a girl i like? maybe you can try to see i have struggled to understand the female mind for decades and fear its a losing battle! please tell me you get it now. i don't understand women, thats why you get offended, i can't text or talk in a way that guarantees me not to make a girl mad, and i don't like this! but i think its because God gave me a male mind. i can't think like girls, I've tried, its not working. please please realize I'm not some male shovenist pig, I'm just...*sigh*...a man. I'm not going to be sorry for being a man. i don't want you to be sorry for being a woman, with all your equally valuable, and confusing, traits.

---------- Post added 6th May 2012 at 11:08 AM ----------

i was stating some of the things about the woman i am in love with. she makes me sad, cry, confused, thrilled, elated, depressed, laugh so hard, feel so good and wish i was never born. that list, yeah, not all pretty pink bows, its the truth...a girl can be so many things, and not all of them good feeling, but still be all the good things i listed, all same time. the whole package, a real woman, not a postcard of a perfect pleasant never sin ideal, just the woman i wish i could stop caring about.

love is offensive