first off i want to apologize for any errors i made, im new here so last night me and 2 of my close friends had a sleepover. i had been thinking of a way to come out to them for several months but never had the chance or the courage. we ended up playing truth or dare, which i saw as a good oppurtunity. one of them asked me what my biggst secret was, and i ended up chickening out and made them guess. they eventually asked if i was a lesbian to which i replied with a muffled yeah. they then continued to ask other truth or dare questions as if i had laughed at the question. i felt extremley uncomfortable. after a while there was some silence and i asked "do you guys not care?". one replied with "about what?" confusingly and the other saying "your a good person, your the best brianna (thats my name) i know" and went off talking about something from middle school. im so confused now. did they not hear me? are they just trying to be sensative? are they afraid to confront it? opinions?
Well, I agree it's kind of ambiguous what went on. If you feel safer, maybe give it a week or two to see if there is any indication they remember (like pointing out cute girls for you or whatever). It's possible they just forgot or thought you were being silly. I think that most people (who are nice at least) would immediately acknowledge the coming out and say something supportive. So it's possible they just didn't hear or don't remember or were caught up in the moment being silly. And since you say they are close friends, they are probably safe. Welcome to the forum, Brianna.
First of all, welcome to EC Brianna. It sounds to me like they do accept you, but are a little bit awkward about it. That's what one of my friends was like, it didn't bother her but at first she didn.t feel comfortable talking about it. I would say, either give it a little time, or let them know that you.re willing to talk. They may just not want to hurt your feelings. Oh! And congrats on.coming out xx Also pret allez makes a good point <3
Personally, I can't stand that awkward "I'm not sure if they know or not" stage, so I'd just upfront ask them again. Pull one (or both aside) at some point, and you can just talk to them... say something about "You know what I told you last night... my biggest secret? You guys are okay with me liking girls, right? Do you mind not telling anyone else (assuming you don't want everyone to know yet)?" By taking it from the route of "you want to confirm they won't spread it around", you get to double-check they actually know without coming off as super insecure about it (which is what I'd do, if I were in your shoes). And welcome to EC!
thank you everyone, it helped a lot! i think i might pull them aside to confirm, once i get my courage up again ^^
Sometimes, people just don't know how to respond to things, especially in a situation like that where something serious suddenly comes up in the middle of silliness. This is especially true for young people, but still true at any age. It seems to me like they just didn't know what to do. And, yes, it's also possible that they weren't sure you were serious. Another possibility is that they have had an idea about this forever, and were completely surprised that you thought they didn't know before. That happens a lot, actually. The best thing, I think, would be to just tell them what you need from them in terms of support. You can't just expect them to know. And, why worry about seeming insecure? What will happen if they think you are? Assuming they really are good friends, all that will happen is that they will reassure you. Not a bad outcome, since that's more or less what you need. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure the friend who started talking about middle school is completely supportive of you. She started talking about middle school because she was telling you how important you are to her, and you have been friends for such a long time, and this doesn't change anything. So really, you might just want to confirm with the confused girl.
Thank you :3 this really helped a lot When I went to school today, they seemed like their normal selves just a bit awkward. The one I know better (who starred talking about middle school) was going more out of her way to make me laugh and asking if I was okay (I was sick today)
