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Bad memories

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dano22, May 6, 2012.

  1. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    I am not sure if anyone can relate to this but I always tend to reflect on the past when I am trying to forget especially the homophobia I endured in High School and with my former college roommate. I always try to keep busy and stay positive about the future but I am trying to let go of the hardships I faced. I know all homophobia is bad but my roommate was over the top homophobic to the point where I wanted to end my life on several occasions but I did not go through with it. Why do these memories always seem to come back to me day by day as if I cannot let them go.
     
  2. Gravity

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    There could be a variety of reasons you're having trouble forgetting. How long ago was this?
     
  3. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    I was in one year college program last year and dealt with homophobic roommates all year. It was 2010-2011 school year August to May.
     
  4. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    I wish it was that easy to forget i am not suicidal or anything I been through alot since High school but I still keep getting through the bad times. The problem was I dealt with homophobic all through high school and the teacher did nothing about it and this was in special ed class room for people with disabilities. Than I got to a two year college where again I was surrounded by the same homophobic environment I prayed I would not be a part of it. I had some good friends there but what stopped me from coming out was the dangers my roommate would of done to me if I did come out.
     
  5. Gravity

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    Well, your teacher's lack of action was certainly wrong, and I can understand the reaction to your roommate - experiencing homophobia in the world at large is one thing, but at home is another.

    What is your situation now? Are you still dealing with things, or has life calmed down, at least on the outside? A year might be enough time to get past things, but it might not. If you feel like you should have gotten over these feelings by now, talking to someone professionally, like a counselor, might be helpful. Do you feel like these memories will just come up unbidden, or are you actively reminding yourself of them, either by focusing on them or by keeping things around that remind you of these people?

    And if there's anything you can do to improve your situation - get a new roommate, get your own place, etc. - I would recommend it. While it might cost some extra money, there's something to be said for feeling comfortable where you live.
     
  6. BradThePug

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    I can realte to being bullied. I was not bullied because I was different from most people at my school. I was. It out in high school. I think of it this way, what is in the past is in the past. I can remember it and learn from it, but I cannot let it bother me anymore.

    I still have my moments, but for the most part it has gotten better with time.
     
  7. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    I moved back to my hometown after a college and eventually moved out of my parent's house to a one person apartment. I completely kicked this person out of my life when I left college and had no contact with him. My other roommates were homophobic to but nothing worse than the way this person acted. I sadly tend to remind myself of the memories which I know is a bad thing and I try to keep busy to keep my mind off of it. I tried counseling a long time ago and while it did some good I don't think I want to go back again.