NC Amendment One :(

My family is the same. They feel that a gay lifestyle is sinful and the movement for equality is a war against god. I'm just gonna move to another country

 

People almost always will change their view on gay issues after they meet someone who they care about that comes out or if they befriend someone who is gay and they mean a lot to them. Other than that, honestly, there is very little one can do to change people's minds about it. You can debate about it and present your opinion though. Something is better than nothing.

My parents used to be the same. Worse even. One time, my uncle said that he supported the repeal of DADT because that way we could get rid of the faggs faster. Little did he know that two people sitting next to him were gay themselves (my cousin and I). After we came out my whole family, with time, changed their views and now they are 100% supportive. Well, my dad still doesn't "agree" with same-sex couples adopting...but that's another topic

You aren't powerless though. Its a bit late now, but next time you can join an organization around your area to try and change other people's mind. If you aren't comfortable doing that, then you can also always contribute small donations.

I know it can be the most frustrating feeling ever so I'm right there with ya (*hug*)

 

Another country? You could just come up to New England, we're really nice up here.

 

It is great up her in New England. However before I came out to my parents, they signed a petition through the Catholic Church to put same sex marriage on the ballot in MA. This was a year or so after the MA Supreme Court allowed it. I was terrified to come out to them. It probably postponed my coming out to them for a year or so. Once I did come out to them their views changed. They were so supportive once I came out and were happy when my husband and I got married.

 

First of all, how out are you to them at this point? Since that will kind of affect the degree to which you can have a conversation about these things with them.

In the case of Amendment 1, you may not be able to convince your parents in the short run. It's painful, but I've gone through the same experience - my parents voted against gay marriage in Michigan, even when I was out to one of them. You could just point out some flaws in the arguments of the amendment's supporters (like, for example, the fact that gay marriage is already illegal in the state and the amendment is just wasting taxpayer money). The Human Rights Campaign's website (.org) has lots of information on it, and you can check that out. Regardless, though, it's going to be a process. If it helps, I have some friends in NC and they're all voting against it.

As far as "continuing the family name" - my parents, especially my dad, have laid this on me a few times, and it really ticks me off because they don't even realize what they're asking. Finally one time I turned to my dad after he said that again, and in front of the whole family, asked him, "do you want to have sex with a man, dad?" He got all flustered, and said something like, "well, no, no, I don't." I responded, "well then stop asking me to have sex with a woman," turned back to the computer, and continued reading what I was reading at the time. It was truly delicious. The bottom line, though, is that you have absolutely no obligation to provide anyone with a child, and you are under no obligation to let them tell you what to do with your genitals. Lots of family names don't continue on into perpetuity, it happens all the time. If they were really all that concerned about it, they could have just kept screwing until they had 10 sons or something (not to be crude, just making a point).

Not a lot of advice here, but hopefully some good places to look and an amusing story. Any headway, or new news, on this today so far? As of this posting no news on the status of Amendment 1.

 

I believe Harvey Milk once said (or at least he did in the movie) that if they know one of us personally, they'll vote for us. Something along those lines.

 

Probably best. Seems you will have to agree to disagree. At least you know where one another stands on the issue. I avoid politics like the plague. I guess that is both good and bad. Oh well, you tried. (*hug*)

 

Wow, I am so sorry. I bet that really hurt a lot. Doesn't feel like a safe environment to come out in at all.

 

Hey, that generalizing is so unfair. I'm sure that like 5% of them support us... Or something like that.

 

They must make up some of that 5%

 

Well, in my opinion you're not safe. Like others here, I definitely believe in the transformative power of telling someone who "hates" a group of people that you actually belong to that group, but I wouldn't recommend telling them you're gay if they supported the ban. In my opinion, that's a position of extreme callousness and cruelty.

Are you financially dependent on them at all? Do you live with them or are they sending you to college?

But do whatever you feel you must. You know your parents better than I do.

 

just ask them?

You'd rather I be unhappy married to a woman then happy and married to a man?