Finding it extremely hard to come out

Have you considered using a method where you would not have to vocalise it, such as a letter?

What you could do is write a short letter explaining your sexuality and that you feel unable to say it aloud. If you want to be present, you could fold it up and put instructions to fetch you before reading.

Those are my two cents. There are a multitude of other ways you could do it of course, which I'm sure other will mention.

 

BlueMonkey -

I was in the same position you were in, really. I knew I was gay before I even knew there was a word for it, and when I realized what a "homosexual" was at age 11 I knew instantly that I was one. I struggled for many years, and then in my mid-twenties I finally accepted it.

But I couldn't bring myself to talk about it. The emotional pain that I went through to find self-acceptance was too painful. Even after I came out to my mother, I ended up effectively going back into the closet because I wasn't ready.

Now I'm in the process of re-coming out to her, again.

What I learned is that there is a difference between accepting the facts of your reality, and feeling that you are worthy of respect, love, compassion, and being yourself. It's the difference between logic and emotion. Logically you know the truth and what you should do, but emotionally - you aren't ready - you can't do it.

There is no reason you have to come out before you are eighteen. No one is going to show up and revoke your gayness. Being gay doesn't come with an expiration date.

The best advice I can give you is to find other LGBT friends. People you can talk to and try to be yourself around. It'll help you build your confidence, and your sense of self-worth. I think soon after that - maybe even as little as several months - you'll feel ready to talk to your parents.

 

Yay, I'm glad you feel better. I agree that you shouldn't feel pressured to come out. Do it when you're ready, not when you think you should be ready. Life's not a race, and everyone's different. I didn't even come to terms with my sexuality until recently (VERY recently), so I congratulate you for figuring yourself out while still in your teens.

To add my two cents: I've definitely found it easier to come out the more and more I do it. Coming out to all of your more liberal/open-minded family and friends first lets you develop a support system with minimal risk while also practicing coming out for when the time comes to give the talk to the more challenging individuals.

Also, and you may already be doing this, but try to focus on coming out to one person at a time. Don't think "I need to come out to my friends and family!" because that makes the task seem rather overwhelming. Just say, "Okay, next I want to tell my friend." After that's done, "Okay, I think I'm ready to tell my mom."

 

One thing you can do is to make them force you to tell them. For example, throw a bomb at them like "I have something really important to tell you." If you get stuck, they will ask you to tell them. However, the conversation may turn out not the way you expected if you resist telling them too much (eg you start crying). But you will have told them after that.
Another good tip is to avoid eye contact. If just not looking at them is not good enough for you, you can cover your eyes with your hand and say it. It will perhaps make you feel "safer", so it will be easier to come out.

 

I agree with this, I've done both in the past. When I first told my mom, I told her the day before that I was just about ready to talk to her about what had been troubling me. She caught me by surprise in the morning by approaching me while I was still in bed and asking me if I wanted to talk right then. I almost said no, but ended up deciding to do it. The pressure helped.

When I came out to my cousin and my friend, I did the whole conversation with my eyes closed, avoiding eye contact. Since then I've been able to do it face to face. Baby steps

 

Well, it took me a few years to "come-out" after i realised i was gay. I actually accepted myself at 15 but came out at 24 because i was too scared to tell anyone and frankly, im SO relieved..like 7 of my friends know about me and they're all supportive

so don't worry..you'll get there when you get there

 

I know it seems kind of impersonal but I told my mom by text message. I made sure she had her phone with her so that it was a back and forth conversation and I made sure not to be in the house at the time so she couldn't barge into my room and corner me. It made things easier because I could think of what to say without having to say it quickly and mess up and I could type things that I couldn't say out loud.

As for friends, the first one is the hardest. Try saying it indirectly and let them come to a conclusion and guide them from there. For example, with my best friend I was attempting to say "I'm coming out to my mom tonight" but I ended up writing it down instead because I nearly passed out. Sounds silly but it got the job done. After the first friend, it gets way easier. You can find holes in conversations to stick it in. It doesn't always have to be this special moment where you sit them down and say "I have to tell you something important that I've been wanting to tell you for a while...". That just makes you more nervous and makes them edgier as well. Just find something that works for you and use it.

Hope everything turns out well and good luck!