do i just give up?

Have you explained to her that you were a little nervous and you weren't completely being yourself? And ask her maybe if she would like to go out again so she can get to know you a little better.

 

I agree with the above, just in a light hearted way tell her that you feel you were all over the place and that she didnt get to see the real you and then suggest maybe you could meet up again, if she says no well then thats her loss. I think it would be silly to give up before you actually find out if she has lost interest, I mean maybe she has been busy.

 

I agree with everyone else. Just be honest, and if she has no interest in seeing you again - that's her loss. It's not like she's the only lesbian in the sea.

A tip for the future, though. It's something that I find helps me when I'm nervous about meeting new people is just to be honest. Right after you both first meet up say something like, "You know, I gotta be totally honest with you. I'm nervous as hell. I don't do this very often." I'd probably laugh afterward, it defuses tension. In all likelihood most people will admit that they are also nervous, or that it's okay to be nervous they were in a similar situation last week doing X and nearly shit their pants.

In any case, I find that doing that defuses a lot of tension. It also makes it much easier to connect with someone right off the bat, and so if you do start acting nervous they know why. If they are a good person, they won't hold it against you.

 

Aww thats tough but try not to take it personally, sometimes however lovely and nice someone is there isnt a connection. In this case I think its probably more that she wasnt ready after her last relationship. Dont give up when you find the right girl all this will have been worth it.

 

Maybe, but I dont think that the fact its online is neccessarily the problem. I mean you could meet people in real life, invest time in them and it not work out. The thing with dating is you can spend unlimited time thinking about the kind of person you think you want, what you like, what you dont like, but actually when it comes down to it you cant define people in the same way you can other things. You could find a person that from the outlook appears to tick all of your boxes but then when it comes down to it isnt quite right, and on the other hand I have heard countless stories of people who say their long term partner isnt the kind of person they would neccessarily have gone for but they fell for them and couldnt be happier.

Im not saying dont try things other than online dating, but I just dont think you should give up on online dating just yet. Sure there are lots of time wasting people online, but there are plenty of those wherever you go.
Just think about it, if you were going to buy a new top or pair of shoes or even a new laptop, you would spend time going to several shops and checking maybe online stores, you might find the right top or shoe but in the wrong colour, or a one that looks like you want but doesnt fit or feel right, but you have to just keep looking till you find the right one. I dont know, im not sure that made as much sense in writing as it did in my head, so ill apologise in advance.

 

I understand, I know you are thinking its ok to for you to say that as you have a girlfriend but I do remember back to when I thought I would never find a girlfriend. I think not being out definitely puts added pressure on you. It is very common and I think almost everyone at some point in their journey of acceptance and coming out process doubts themselves if they have not already had some same sex experience.

I think you should carry on looking online and chatting to girls and being positive, but try and remove the pressure from yourself, I think that will also help your nerves. I get the feeling from what you have said that when you do meet a girl you so much want to make it work you make yourself nervous. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, a certain amount of nerves are normal but they should be as much about anticipation and excitement as anything else. I think if you approach it with the idea of gaining experience of meeting different girls and getting dating experience, whilst having fun and possibly more you are less likely to be so disappointed if it doesnt work.

I know it is really easy for me to say that and not so easy to do, but when you find the right girl all the frustration and heart break will be worth it. The good times wouldnt be so good without bad times. The greatest risk brings the greatest reward.

 

nah, you just haven't found the right person yet. i've been doing the online dating thing too, and i definitely get where you're coming from. i'd text/email the same person every day for weeks, and then either we'd just never get around to meeting, or we would meet and that would be the end of it. there was one girl, we were both certain we liked each other so much, but chemistry over skype/text/email is different than in person -- and it just wasn't there in person. so i don't think that you're doing anything wrong, if the chemistry isn't there, it just isn't. i know it's quite disappointing when you've invested so much time and energy and possibly even get emotionally attached. but don't give up, though. right when i was about to, this amazing girl messaged me. we've been dating for two months now and i can't remember the last time i've been this happy

 

I started my coming out process before I had any experience, for ages I struggled to come out because I was worried I would do it and then be wrong, but then I got the point where I was like, even if I did that, worse case scenario I shall tell them ive met a guy I like, sure they may pass comment at the time but its soon going to be old news. If it really bothers you, you can come out as not straight or possibly bisexual/possibly gay, its just harder to explain to people.

Bottom line I think anyone who has gone to the effort you have with girls online, met them and been disappointed it hasnt worked out has to be at least bisexual haha.

 

You don't have to have sex with, or even date, a person to know that you like that person, or that you are attracted to that person. Being attracted to someone comes before dating anyway, and definitely before sex.

I think some gay people get confused about this, because they spent some part of their lives dating people they weren't really interested in, trying to work up feelings that they just didn't have.

Straight girls, for the most part, know that they are attracted to some men and not to others. They know this before going on dates with them. When a guy they aren't attracted to asks them out, they say no. They don't think they need to go on a date with him to find out if they are attracted to him.

Similarly, you can examine your feelings, and you should be able to determine whether you are attracted to girls. It seems like you are. This is enough; we define sexual orientation by attraction, not experience.

Keep in mind, too, that even if you are a lesbian, you could still have an unsatisfying dating or sexual experience with a woman. For a lesbian, it is necessary, but NOT sufficient, that the partner be female.

So, I suppose a very good experience might tell you something, but a bad experience would not be definitive at all.

And ultimately, it is introspection about your feelings that will provide the answers--if you have an experience that sheds light on things, it will be because you examine the feelings you have in response to the experience. And you can get just as much insight by examining your feelings about people even without dating them, and certainly without having sex.

I mean, it really is best to feel attracted to a person before having sex.