Last night was going to be the night that I confessed by undying love at the concert to the girl I liked. I ended up not doing so, and feel like quite honestly....disappointed. Everything started going wrong since that afternoon; my mother's car broke down, it rained, my brother pissed me off that my eyes turned a bloody red from anger, it rained even more, the concert was unorganized and while we rehearsed everyone just kept pissing me off, and then when we the beginner's choir went up we sounded horrible. Great way to open the show. After the concert was over and I was talking to one of my friends and she (girl i liked) had finally came outside and I...I don't know, I could have called out to her and told her how much I liked her and that it was I who wrote her that letter on FB, but, I didn't. Instead I watched her just walk away, into her car, and drive off..... I felt like the way everything was going preceding the event just....I guess just didn't feel right, like the forces of the universe were against me. Ah, now I just feel like it's all just worthless and I should honestly give up, I'm tired of this.
Its ok dont be too hard on yourself, sometimes these things dont work out, I know it is tough and it can get you down when you make these plans and invest so much emotional energy into what you are doing and then it doesnt work out how you plan or you cant go through with it, but there will be other chances. I remember back to when I was first trying to come out, so many times I thought ok todays the day and then I couldnt do it, or I couldnt find the right time, but eventually you will get there.
Hm....i don't know if I even want to anymore, I feel like I'm lightly losing my feelings....I don't know. How did it go for you when you came out?
Well im lucky that all of my coming outs have been postitive or at least if anyone had a problem with it they have kept it to themselves. So this girl that you like, does she know your into girls? How do you know her? How often do you see her?
She doesn't know me, well she sees me but like we don't know each other like that. I see her everyday at school, at least three times during that. If you want a little backround info I posted earlier about her, http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/61680-coming-out-girl-i-like-help-please.html In short she plays the piano which is just beautiful, she's quite, she's really cute, ahhh she seems ahhhmazing, and I had wrote a love letter to her on face book, using someone's else account.
I see, perhaps rather than putting so much pressure on yourself to come out to her and confess your undying love and everything all in one go you could break it down. So step one would be just talking to her, I would suggest something casual, you can comment on her piano playing, you could just stay 'hey ive noticed that you play the piano, thats so cool I wish I could play' or something like that. Then try and talk to her more, get to know her then you can ask if she wants to hang out or something and then you can move onto step two and come out to her and then from there you can decide whether or not to tell her you like her.
That sounds GENIUS, ahhh i will have to muster up some balls to do all of this, Will see how it goes, Its not it is hard its just I can feel myself getting nervous. Ah, Thank you so much. (*hug*)
