I know this issue is much smaller than what many people go through but I would still appreciate some advice. Sorry it's really long. My friend (lesbian): M Me (lesbian): E* M and I really like each other. Before we told each other how we felt though, we planned to be roommates in this 2 week camp where we stay in the dorms, take classes, and then have fun the rest of the day. Even though we liked each other I hadn't wanted to date because I'm not out, or do anything to potentially ruin our friendship. Since we had decided to be "just friends" we were still going to be roommates.* Over the last month or so our relationship has grown to be more than "just friends" I'm not sure what it is, but I really enjoy it. We haven't kissed or done anything like that, but we have talked about.* Last night she texted me; M: I don't think it's a good idea for us to be roommates. I understand why you would be uncomfortable rooming with someone else, but trust me, none of the girls give a shit if youre gay...just since our relationship has turned more than platonic I just don't think it'd be a good idea. E: M, I already got accepted to camp and requested you as my roommate.* M: I haven't sent mine in and we both have to request eachother. I don't want this to seem mean, I want you to understand why I'm saying this. You do get it right? E: Yeah, I do but I wouldn't do anything. I like to say that kinda stuff but I won't actually. I have a lot of self control. M: It's not your self control I'm worried about E. I don't exactly have the best track record. And even if we didn't do anything, if my mom found out that we liked eachother and were rooming...I would be skinned alive. E: ok we won't then but what am I supposed to do now? I would be too uncomfortable/awkward to room with someone I didn't know, and I would feel like a perv. I can't request a friend at this point, I never wanted to *go if I was rooming with someone I didn't know. M: E, you are not a perv. I know that feeling. If I'm the only option you'd feel comfortable with I'm ok with that just be prepared to shove me out of your bed if I try to kiss you.* E: I don't want you getting in trouble. M: I know. I don't want to get in trouble. E I know those girls and none of them care if you're gay. But I would come out to your roommate. So they can make decisions about what their comfortable with. M: I have to go to sleep. I love you good night beautiful. E:It's not really the gay part I'm uncomfortable with. sometimes I'm just embarrassed around someone I don't know. So spending two weeks, even if it is only sleeping in the same room would be terrible. I don't know M, I'll see you tomorrow. So what should I do? Should I take her up on the offer? Or not go? I really want to go but I'm not sure.
If I were you, I'd still go. I mean, school trips are for fun, so I wouldnt let anything get in the way. That said, if it does make you uncomfortable, there's no pressure. Do what you WANT to do xx Sorry for the fluff answer, hopefully someone else could offer a little more insight xx
thanks fireworks. I will just have to talk to her. I will be so said if she still thinks we shouldn't room together
I'm so sad. I asked what M wanted to do and she said not room together. I'm not going to go to camp now. All my other friends have already paired up and I would hate to room with a stranger. I had been counting on spending two weeks with her this summer, much of that cuddling. Now I get nothing :tears:
If I were you, I would go ahead and room with a stranger. After a few days they won't be a stranger any more. But then I'm a bit older than you and perhaps more comfortable around people, and I probably shouldn't be telling you what to do. She said be prepared to shove her out of her bed if she tries to kiss you. Are you prepared to do that? If not, don't let her into/onto your bed to begin with. Try to agree on some limits like that, and maybe she'll be willing to room with you. Does she know that you don't want to go if you have to share a room with a stranger?
Thanks Farouche, we are not going to room together. I think I may just suck it up and room with a stranger. I would be honest and pretty much as soon as I met her tell her I was gay so she can set boundaries of what she is comfortable with. Even if that sucks most of the day and evening would be really fun, making new friends, taking classes, playing games, and spending time with M!
