Me and my body are on two different levels. I am sexually attracted to men... I like the ideal of sex.. (except anal) but right after sex I lose all feelings for my partner and I want them to leave... even though moments ago, before I get off, I was really into them. Also, when I think about my future and where I want to be in life I want a wife and a family, kids the whole 9 yards... and I dont know where my sexual partner would fit into that. -But I am in noway sexually attracted to girls... ihave to think of men just to get off during sex with girls. It seems like I want one thing and my body wants another :***:
Yes - it does seem like that is the case. If you don't have an emotional connection to your sexual partner then you ARE going to simply want them to leave when you're done. Just like you turn off the porn once you're finished. It's really the same thing. So the question is, why can't you / won't you develop an emotional attachment to the guys you're having sex with? Perhaps because society has conditioned you to think that you shouldn't? That it's wrong? Many of us found that we had a physical attraction to guys before we had an emotional attraction. We could deny the emotional attraction longer than we could the more 'primal' physical attraction. But if you allow yourself to feel the emotional attraction it will be there. Wanting to have a wife and kids is normal - because that's what we're conditioned to think we should do. That's what I assumed I would do - and I did it. And was miserable. I hadn't actually concluded that I was gay. I didn't really have a strong attraction to guys. But eventually (at 35) I couldn't deny that I was gay. I caused a lot of heart ache in the process. And if you're already aware that you're into guys - and have an active sex life with them - they you're already well aware of your sexuality and marriage to a woman wouldn't likely work. That's not horrible. It's just different from what you had initially pictured for yourself. But life is like that in almost all respects. Go with the flow and make the most of every situation.
