This is the first time I've ever even thought of bringing this up and I'm terrified.... I'm a 27 yr old female. I've dated men for a while but never felt anything. Any friend that I've had that's a girl I've always looked at even if a "nice looking man" walked by, I was more interested in the girl. I'm having more and more short and failed relationships with men. I'm almost positive I'm just in denial but I don't even know how to address it. Being from a strict Irish Catholic family I just don't know what to do. I'm more and more depressed by the week. Can anyone give me advice since I'm in totally uncharted territory for me.
Hey! First off..the depression will lessen as time goes bye...you are just in shock. I know the feeling...about two months ago I finally realized that I needed to figure out what my same sex attractions meant and that I couldn't go on living a lie anymore...so I broke up with my gf..and got a therapist. I journal a ton too and that helps tremendously..also, just try to cut yourself some slack..I'm an Irish catholic too.,but I have just been sitting with the fact that I'm gay and it gets a bit clearer each day...also try and have new experiences! Talk to people on here, watch tv shows and movies about the lgbt community! I recommend prayers for Bobby and the book called The God Box..it will help you see the different ways the bible can be interpreted. Just know that you are not Aline and you are normal! The hardest part is accepting ourselves..I'm still not fully at that point, but the depression will lessen I promise..just hang in there and realize that it will get better! Hugs!
I can relate. I'm less sure than you are about my orientation. I've been wondering for a long time but last year (when I was 27) it came to a head and I panicked. I got really depressed and couldn't think of anything else. I didn't understand and was trying to acknowledge these feelings I was having. For about three or four months I was crying all the time and talking with my friends about it. I already knew that my friends would be supportive because I have a lot of queer friends of all stripes. Mostly they were telling me that I wouldn't be so upset about it if there weren't something there. I was terrified though and confused and had no idea what to do. I've been attracted to so few people in my life overall that I don't even have a large enough sample size to extrapolate any meaningful information. I've dated men but never men I've been attracted to. I've made out with girls which was hot but I had no desire for a relationship with them. I hardly understand what attraction really is. At this point I pretty much consider "confused" to be my orientation. I considered using "bi" but it doesn't seem to fit me well. I tried to come out to someone beyond my closer network of friends (a cis gay guy) and his reaction was not totally supportive. He didn't say anything specific but it felt like bi-phobia as though he felt like it was some kind of attention-getting ploy. I went to a coming-out support group which comprised ten or so men and one woman who informed me right after the group let out that she would never date a woman who identified as bi as she didn't want to be "dumped for a man". Anyway, I'm kind of at peace with my in-between status right now. My friends know I'm confused and until I have something more to go on I don't feel any more need to discuss my sexuality with people. I've found the young lesbian population in my city to be tied to a highly politicized way of engaging in relationships (which I don't want) and I'm just not so into the penis. I've posted as "bi" on the one dating site I'm on where there are a lot of people I know through other channels. TLR I also had a lot of anxiety. I still haven't resolved much but I feel better about the questioning anyway. It's ok not to be sure about things.
kmcg27, reading other people's stories can help, and talking to real live LGBTQetc. people is even better, if you can find such a person who's willing to talk you through your questioning. Also the Catholic idea, as far as I know, is that sexuality is barely okay to begin with. If you work on a more accepting attitude to sexuality in general, it makes it a lot easier to explore your orientation. Sexual contact and intimacy are normal human needs, like eating and sleeping. Lemonlime, do you mean you're more asexual than bisexual?
