Today I was in my living room, listening to music while exercising, when my dad stormed in and saw me doing push ups improperly. He decided to teach me new exercises, in order for me to become more muscular and fit. I'm not fat, but I know I do not have the best physical body for my age. And I know that gay men value appearance a lot. Anyway, after teaching me those exercises, which left a lot of sore in my body, my dad simply hugged me and told me how much he loved me. At that moment, I wanted to confess the truth about my sexuality, when everything seemed to be in a sea of roses. But if he turned out to be unsupportive, I would ruin his next couple of months at best, so I stayed in silence. Anyway, it was a beautiful moment. Even if I often feel like my friends from school are nothing but accuaintances, I still have a loving family to support on. And this is why coming out to THEM, not to my high school classmates whom I'll probably never gonna see again because I'll move to another country two months from now, is so difficult. My dad is an amazing guy when he's happy, but when he's pissed, he's a beast. And I've witnessed him expelling many homophobic terms and insults upon finding out that some of my classmates are openly gay. He already told me he does not care about one's orientation, but then contradicted himself only a couple of days later. I believe I'll wait until my life gets back on track and out of the turbulence zone I'm going through to come out to him,my mother and brother. Thankfully, the teachers and the few true friends I have already know about it, and we're supportive and loving. If anyone has anything to encourage me, please say it. And I'll take the advice. But I think I'll always remember my father hugging me and saying "I love you more than anything", and what could have been if I had decided to, at that moment, to she'd light upon my most well-kept and deepest secret. PS: I'm sorry if this post has any spelling mistakes. I'm writing on my iPad and English is not my first language.
Coming out never feels 100% safe. From what you related, the outlook is kind of scary. But I have this weird feeling that your dad will be shocked but ultimately okay. And as problematic as this is, and as much as I hate to say it, if you just keep "being a man" (all my principles make want to wretch) it might make it easier for him to adjust. I mean, it sounds like your dad loves you strongly and also loves that you are trying to improve yourself and gain strength. He might see this as a sign of courage that he can get behind.
