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Is he gay or just...different?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jon56, May 12, 2012.

  1. Jon56

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    So there is a guy I have a crush on (if you've seen my last topic, that's the guy). We've started talking more after class and over Facebook, and so I asked him if he wanted to study and do homework after school since we had a test the next day and had done no homework thus far. He said that'd be a great idea, so we met up in the library and got a study room. We basically just talked the entire 2 hours we had the room, and he sort of mentioned how he had a girlfriend a long time ago, he thought this one actress was hot, and talked about how Europeans don't get weirded out as much as Americans when it comes to bodily contact (not sexual in nature, just like hugs/pats on the back).

    We used up the 2 hours allotted for the study room and so he took us to a staff tutoring room that no one knows about. There we talked about how he isn't able to smell very well, if at all, and this is where I got confused... I took off my shoes to show him my toe socks I had told him about, and after he smelled my shoes to see if he could smell anything, he started feeling my foot talking about how soft the sock was. I took off my socks, and he smelled those for awhile, so I had him take off his to see if his smelled.

    Anyways, the weirdest part was that after I was barefoot, he full on was smelling my feet, but after he couldn't smell anything he just started to feel them, saying how soft they were, and even had them on his face for at least 30 minutes + (and when I say on, I mean ON)...

    So I know this sounds weird no matter how I put it, but what does anyone else think?
     
  2. amychan12

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    Has he made any other moves like that?
     
  3. Steve712

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    He doesn't seem shy. Ask him. :slight_smile:
     
  4. stumble along

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    Foot fetish?
    No but seriosuly I have no idea how to analyze this, except he really likes feet. Personally for me feet creep me out and even then i doubt anyone goes to great lengths such as that...
     
  5. Jon56

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    Hahahah thats what my friend said =P

    Well nothing quite like this in person, but for instance I asked him if he still had my number over facebook and he said that he wrote it in his agenda, I said that I feel so special now, and he said that I am now....or I said that he shouldn't move away cause all the cool people are here, and he said I was one of the few he met...those 2 cases seem like they could be overlooked though >.<

    Well now that I think of it he told me a story about how a drunk girl was hitting on him a lot and he couldn't get her to go away so he told her he was gay, but he maybe have been joking
     
    #5 Jon56, May 12, 2012
    Last edited: May 12, 2012
  6. Farouche

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    Does he know you're gay?
     
  7. Jon56

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    Not that I know of, though I do try to show I'm interested. I was thinking of mentioning that I was and see his reaction
     
  8. Farouche

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    If you want to know more about him or how he feels about you, then I think you should come out to him. He might be gay, but hesitating to come out because he's not sure how you'll react. Or he might be straight, but it sounds like he'll be accepting anyway.
     
  9. Mister Gaga

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    Dude this is the weirdest thing I've ever read, seriously! It's funny how I don't what to answer to such a story, his foot fetish is just weird, and I think he might be gay
     
  10. Jon56

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    Now you know how I feel! I've had a crush on him all semester and then we start talking and 2 weeks later my feet are on his face! :eek:
     
  11. Farouche

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    Yeah, okay, so it's a bit weird. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it, though.
     
  12. Jon56

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    Ya I dont think there is anything wrong with it either, I'm just shocked that it all happened
     
  13. Ianthe

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    If you are ok with it, I don't see that there is anything wrong with it.

    You should come out to him. It's impossible to date same-sex people who don't know that you're queer. So, coming out to him is the next step.

    You might also go ahead and ask him about the whole foot thing, and let him know that it was cool with you. He might be embarrassed of it. On the other hand, you let him do it for half an hour, so he's probably not as worried as he would be otherwise. I expect that most people probably get weirded out when he does that.

    In the end, did you pull away, or did you let him keep your feet on his face until he wanted to stop?

    I'm not sure that there is a non-sexual way to interpret that behavior. My guess would be that he's a gay guy with a foot fetish. If you are okay with the foot fetish (as you seem to be), I think you should go for it. Come out to him, and ask if his interest is limited to your feet.
     
  14. Jon56

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    I guess that would be the next step. And he eventually just stopped since we hadn't even done work in an entire 4 hours.

    Now just to come out to him >.<
     
  15. Ianthe

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    If it makes you more comfortable, you could probably lead into it with the foot thing. Like, "I notice you seem to have an interest in men's feet. I wanted to let you know that I'm gay, and your attention to my feet is okay with me. You probably noticed that when I let you keep them on your face for half an hour, but I just wanted to make sure it was clear. Maybe we could hang out again next week. How about Tuesday?"

    Seriously, I think you're in.
     
  16. Jon56

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    We do have another study session planned and we are gonna go on a hike within the next 2 weeks, I'll definitely try to do it then. You don't think it would really ruin the friendship if I did he happens to not be?
     
  17. Steve712

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    I can't see how he wouldn't be at the very least bi-curious. I think you'll be fine. :slight_smile:
     
  18. cscipio

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    Sounds hot...OK, I'm terrible. But from the fetisher gallery, just sayin'
     
  19. Jon56

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    Well I did have to cover my crotch for a few minutes :wink:
     
  20. Ianthe

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    Um, no. I don't think he's likely to be judgmental with you. I mean, it's sort of possible that he won't be interested in you like that, but the foot thing is something that a lot of people will find weird. If you are accepting of his foot fetish, and let him put your feet on his face without really even discussing it, I don't think he's likely to be unaccepting of your sexuality.

    Just be clear that it's fine if he just wants to be friends, and I think it should be okay. I don't think that's what he wants, though. Putting your feet on his face isn't exactly normal "friend" behavior.

    Don't wait for the hiking. Do it at the next study session. You will probably have an excellent opportunity when he puts your feet on his face again. (You know he's going to, right?)

    Look, you should really consider this from his side. He's actually given some pretty clear indicators that he's into you. And, that comment about his telling the girl he's gay might have been his way of coming out to you--you might want to clarify on that. But from his perspective, you are a probably straight guy who let him play with his feet. (Or, more likely, he's just as confused and worried about your sexuality as you are about his--"he let me put his feet on my face! Do you think that means he's gay?!")