Hey everyone, First wanted to thank everyone for creating this community I think it's an awesome resource. I just had a question aimed at gay guys on here...I'm currently struggling with my sexuality and doing some self-exploration. I'm 25. I'm currently "striaght" and am doing some dating now. When I think about the girls I'm dating I get an erection...is this something a truly 100% gay guy could experience? That's the main question I would like answered and if you could I would really appreciate it...
I don't have a lot of time right now to write a big response, so I'll keep this short. Yes, you can get an erection thinking about girls even if you are gay. When I considered myself straight I had no trouble getting it up fantasizing about girls/being with my girlfriend. It was only when I started actively confronting the idea that I might not be straight, and started looking at guys in a different way, that girls couldn't really do the trick for me anymore. I'm not saying you're gay. It could be that you are totally straight. All I'm saying is: getting an erection thinking about girls doesn't necessarily mean you're straight. It's pretty amazing what our minds/bodies can do when we're in denial.
So you get an erection when thinking about your girlfriend, but do you get erections thinking about guys? I'd assume the answer is yes or else you wouldn't be questioning yourself, but don't forget that you could always just be bisexual. In my experience, I never could quite get an erection just thinking of a girl
Thanks for the replies. Yeah I get an erection thinking about girls...I've never really had a long term girlfriend....probably part of the issue here....I've never got an erection thinking about a guy nor have I really had fantasies about men but I do find some men really attractive and I'm just trying to find out what that means...I am a bit worried that maybe I've been in denial this whole time but that's something I'm exploring...I find the majority of my confusion is geared from celebrities...for example I find Zac Efron and Chace Crawford to be very attractive and then don't find some female celebrities that my guy friends crush over all the time to be that attractive taylor swift and so on...I know this is sounding very specific....but I'm just worried that I'll lead my life as a lie and it's all I can think off...
Just based off of you saying guys don't give you erections I would say there's a good chance that you aren't gay. Not saying anything definite one way or the other, but if you think you might be gay you should be finding yourself aroused by the thought of being with guys. Straight guys can easily find other men attractive. There is a HUGE difference between saying "that person is attractive" and "I'm attracted to that person". Those guy celebs you mentioned, when you see them do you think "dang they're really attractive" or does your heart start beating quick and you want to be with them? If its the first than that doesn't make you gay at all. If its the second or both than you know you're at least not straight and can move from there.
Thank you very much for your reply. I really appreciate it...I guess there's the million dollar question and unfortunately I don't feel like I trust myself to make the right choice right now...maybe in time...I've had some serioues issues with lack fo self-esteem so I think there's a real posibility that I notice attractive guys because of that...but I don't want to count anything out right now and ignore doubts I'm having...I want to be as honest with myself as possible. Thanks again.
One of my friends who's gay described it really well when I asked her the same question. She said that when shes with a guy she does get turned on, and that she enjoys it, but that when shes with a girl she gets a feeling inside that's "different" that makes it feel "right". She said she always loved kissing guys but when she kissed her first girl it was the most amazing thing she's ever felt and that's how she knew she wanted to be with a girl.
Yeah I guess it's possible, though I would be inclined to think you're probably bi or straight if you get erections thinking about girls?
I saw this suggestion in another questioning thread, and thought you might find it interesting: Try on being gay. Forget about whether you're gay, straight or bi right now, or were last year, or will be next year, and instead spend a week or two trying to feel as gay as you possibly can. Look at people of your own gender and take note of how attractive they are, think about the possibility being closer to them, let your imagination run away with you a bit. See how your feel after that. You might never want to go back, or you might find that you can't make yourself gay no matter how hard you try. The worst that can happen is that you'll end up back where you are now, questioning.
I'll just say that when I was in my late teens, I got hard thinking about guys, girls, couples, friends, strangers, aliens, monsters, gargoyles, weather vanes, brick walls, and boxes of vanilla pudding. Lex
