I am an 18 year old male. I know im gay. I don't question it at all I just know I am. I really want to tell my best friend that im gay. I know she will accept me but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have wanted to come out for a while. I keep getting really close to telling her to call me so I can tell her but then I chicken out. I know once I tell her people say it makes life a little better, but is there anyone who can give some advice on how to initiate the conversation and what to say to lead up to the big statement? Id be very appreciative. There is also this guy I really like (I have never felt this way for anyone before) I know he is gay and we have been chatting a lot and I really want to tell him im gay too but im terrified!!
If you can't force the words out of your mouth, sometimes it's easier to put it in writing, like in a text message, an email, or a letter. That's how I did most of my early coming outs. My very first was to a friend of mine in a facebook message, and then next to a couple more friends by text message. With the guy you like, since he's gay, you can really just start talking like a gay person. For example, you could just start asking him for coming out advice, or something like that. You could even ask him what you should do about telling your friend. Of course, actually, you could do this with everyone, just start acting like, well, of course, OBVIOUSLY, you are gay--everybody knows that. Eventually, that's what you'll do anyway. But the specific course of asking the guy for coming out advice is very efficient, in that it gives him a lot of information at once: you are gay (or at least not straight), you aren't out yet, but you are starting the process of coming out. You know he's gay, but is he out generally, or just to a few people?
If you don't know how to initiate the conversation with your female friend (I know I hard it can be!), you could start by saying that something bothers you and go from there or you could mention you have a crush on this person and when your friend asks who, tell her it's this guy. It's easier to ease yourself into the topic rather than say all of a sudden "by the way, I'm gay". That's too abrupt and way too hard to do! But otherwise, like Ianthe said, you could text her instead. As for the gay guy you like, I'd follow Ianthe's advice.
Everything went great! My friend was very understanding and even made jokes about how everything makes sense now lol. As for the guy i have been talking to him since yesterday. We have been talking hours on end. Ive been dropping hints. Now to tell another friend. Im not worried though because she is gay and is great to me! (!)
