dont understand

i dont get it
i know im gay or bi or something (some girls turn me on, but i dont think i could seriously be with one). ive never considered myself the flamboyant stereotypical gay guy, but i definitely have my moments lol. my two best friends are girls. i give some clothing advice to my mom. i watch antm like its god (i like the photography too). and have given some way more "gay" signs, but i feel like people dont pick up on it.
i dont know if its out of courtesy and people dont want to offend me by assuming im gay. ive been made fun of in school and am kind of sensitive, but i brush off any teasing. some people (jocks usually) sense my "gayness", but no one that im close to. it kind of bothers me because i (almost) desperately want to say "WTF are you retarded im GAY!", but i dont want to make the first move.

at least, this is the situation with my two best friends (and some others). they joke "when you get married...", "when you have kids..." etc. i get annoyed, but dont know how to handle it.

my one best friend has a gay uncle and a cousin who she thinks is gay (me too), and a gay brother, so doesn't that make her a professional gay detector lol?

idk, maybe im just bitter b/c i cant come out on my own :icon_wink

this whole story leads into my not being able to find any gay friends (i want/need one so desperately). the only gay guy i know is stereotypical and acts like a "mean girl". i mean, there must be some down-to-earth gay guys in my area?

 

i guess im kind of just ranting
nope, no gay-straight alliance. despite being in quite a liberal town, ive met a lot of homophobes.

thanks lol