While talking to a friend last night we stumbled into an area that I'd never told anyone about. While I'm physically female, some days I feel overwhelmingly male. I use male pronouns to address myself, bind my chest, dress like a m, and trade my name for a male one. When I'm in this state I feel...wrong in the female body I have. However, there are some days where I want to get my nails done, and wear a dress, and feel fully female. Usually, I feel neither. I can't really find information on being 'genderfluid' and found this site...can anyone help me figure out what I am?
Well, I don't ever question my gender, I'm certain I'm male and proud of it and all, but I think I may be able to help you, or I can try. First, I know that doctors and people like that say that sometimes people are born as one gender MENTALLY but PHYSICALLY are the other gender. Like, as they're in their childhood phase or as they're aging, one's mind, for example, may develop how a female's mind would, but they are physically born in a man's body. To clarify in the most basic way I can: you may be boy, born in a girl's body. Get me? (By the way, these facts aren't exaaactly 100% complete factual, but it's SOMETHING like that... you may wanna look into it a little more to clarify...) But I dunno, tell me a little about how it was for you growing up. Like did you grow up around mainly males in your family? Or anything like that, I may be able to provide you with some possible explanations. And you know, there's nothing wrong with being gender-confused, of course. If you ever need support, I just love to give advise and aid to peoples.
I grew up with mostly my mom and sisters. I've just always been more masculine. One time I shaved my head, and my step-dad called me Alex...and that felt right. I don't think that I'm transgender specifically, because I don't always feel man...just some of the time.
Hmmm, it's kinda hard for me to say. So, you feel right when your feeling masculine, but how does dressing and being a girl make you feel?
It depends on the day. Some days I love wearing dresses and being feminine...otherdays it makes me feel almost sick.
Do you have any distinct preference towards males or females? Or do you just like both kinda on the same level?
Eh, sorry I can't really be too useful here... My guess is, I dunno, you just feel comfortable as a male and as a female. I know that's kinda crappy advise (sorry), but I don't think it's too much to worry about, ya know? Just let time pass and see what happens. When did you first start feeling masculine?
I've been masculine my entire life. When I was a kid I would switch between saying I was a boy and a girl...until it started to upset my mom.
Well, all I can really tell you is it's who you are. I'm not an expert, so I can't give you any kind of precise answers, just that it's who you are and nothing wrong with it. Heh, really though, I'm sorry that's all the advise I have... I'm not used to this kind of situation, but hey, there's nothing wrong with it. You are you, no matter waht
M-hm, anytime. As long as you're fine with it and you're happy with yourself, there's no problem. Things'll be clearer in the future
Google: "bi-gender" Sometimes I feel this way too, but it's maybe a day or two out of a month so I normally dismiss it as I know what I really am.
When you say "Usually, I feel neither," do you mean that most of the time you feel like you are neither male nor female? As if you have no gender? Because if you feel all three (feeling male, feeling female, and feeling androgynous), I think that would make you genderfluid.
I mean I usually feel like a mix between the two. Like I'm not totally male, but not totally female either...like I just both.
Dawny, What you described is something I go through too. I call it my masculine time of the month actually - though I don't go by male pronouns with anyone mostly because people don't take very kindly to the idea of changing up pronouns all the time. Also, I feel better having them use gender neutral pronouns so it won't be too confusing when those 'times of the month' happen. They're pretty consistent too as in it'll last for a few weeks out of each month where I'll feel more male, and the rest of the month I'll feel female. Genderfluid could be a good term to use, though I've heard people use 'bi-gender' when describing something similar to what you described. That term, from how I've heard it defined, means your gender identity is both male and female simultaneously. Other people may define it less strictly, depending on who you ask though. I personally use the term genderqueer mostly because I haven't figured out what specific term to use for myself yet, so I just lump myself under that umbrella. There's a list of all sorts of non-binary genders out there somewhere, though the place I first saw it was in a neutrois group on facebook. If you google "non-binary gender identities" that should bring up some safe hits (since I'm not sure I can post links here for you directly). Does that help at all?
Try researching the term "third gender." If you Google "third gender definition" I think the first item describes what you have described.
