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Need advice(help) for upcoming muslim LGBT workshop

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PakiGay, May 16, 2012.

  1. PakiGay

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    Hi :icon_bigg

    My very first post, glad I found this site.

    I volunteered to facilitate a workshop for an upcoming muslim LGBT retreat, titled " Pros & Cons of Coming Out".

    But had been very busy and didn't do any research for the appropriate questions for the attendees. Many of them are still in closet to thir friends & families, but seek advice & guidance in carefully coming out, so as not to upset their families too much.

    Any & all ideas are welcome, esp. if someone had ever been in such a coming out workshop or held one him or herself.
     
  2. Jim1454

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    Hi there, and welcome.

    As a facilitator you'd want to ask fairly open ended questions that allow the panellists to elabourate. So things like "What do you think the biggest challenge is for muslim LGBT youth." or "What advice would you give to muslim LGBT youth who are contemplating coming out to their parents?"
     
  3. PakiGay

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    Thank you, I like the idea of open-ended questions.

    Can I also refer them to this website? Perhaps a sign or poster I could make for the workshop to create awareness of this website. Some of the participants are coming from countries where being an LGBT person is illegal.

    This website seems extremely helpful to those struggling with coming out issues.
     
  4. Farouche

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    The PFLAG website <pflag.org> might also be helpful.

    My advice for facilitating the workshop is that you should show a positive attitude toward being LGBTQ etc. The people who were most helpful to me when I just started to come out were the ones who congratulated me on being bisexual and on questioning my gender. It all seemed so much better once I thought of it as an interesting new part of my life instead of a problem.
     
  5. Jim1454

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    Yes. Absolutely. That's what this site is for, so it would be perfectly fine for people to be directed here.

    If some of these people are coming from homes where their safety would be at risk for just visiting such a site, you might also want to educate people on how to effectively visit some sites without leaving a trace on their computer. (Private browsing, deleting cookes, etc.)
     
  6. Ianthe

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    One thing I think you might want to consider, is to include the pros and cons (especially the cons) of remaining closeted as well. Sometimes, people in those situations don't see the negative effects that secrets and shame can have on them in different ways--not only on their self confidence, but, for example, on their relationships with friends and family.

    One of the biggest reasons people stay in closet is that they don't want to lose their family and friends. But they sometimes don't see that hiding a part of themselves from the people in their lives can seriously undermine all of those relationships anyway. I mean, all of your relationships start to feel superficial and hollow, because you aren't interacting with people authentically. You feel like no one really loves you--because all of the people who love you, don't really know who you are.

    So, I think that's an important aspect to cover. You can't really cover the reasons to come out without covering the detrimental effects of being in the closet on a person's life and relationships.
     
  7. PakiGay

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    Thank you guys for all your advice.

    Off to retreat to see tons of Muslim LGBT youth for the workshop.

    My first, a bit nervous now. Wish me luck !!!
     
  8. Jim1454

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    Good luck! You're doing really wonderful work by trying to help them.
     
  9. insidehappy

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    i think you need to be really real with the people. given their religion and their communities overall feeling on gay, i think you have to really be realistic when you talk to them about coming out because it coudl be very bad for some of these kids to do that and coudl also be quite dangerous for them to do that as well.

    so with that said, i think you should cover the following topics that would be on many of their minds:

    1. what does the q'uran say about homosexuality? how do you deal with religion and try to be honest with yourself at the same time? are there any interpretations of the q'uran that offer a different outlook regarding homosexuality?

    2. how to explore your sexuality in a safe way if you still have to be closeted at home?

    3. what events are avaialble for other muslim lgbt people to meet?

    4. when is the best time to come out to your muslim family and how should you do it?