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more advise!!!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by reecematthew, Jun 30, 2006.

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  1. reecematthew

    reecematthew
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    ok guys you probably think my life is all drama but not im just being hit with alot and i need more advise that not many people may be able to help with but i trust yall
    ok heres the thing
    last week my best friend went out of town and i was texting her on my phone and all of a sudden she said she hated her mom and she was going to fucking kill herself, then she told me in the next one that if she didnt come home on sunday it was bc she did it. well that was the end of it and i freaked out bc i didnt get any on saturday or sunday so sunday i called more times then i could count anticipating for someone to answer the phone and then i hear someone pick up and it was her mom i greated her and asked for my friend she wasnt home nor would she be for a long time. ok so many thought crossed my mind what would you be thinking right?
    yeah so i go on thinking she killed herself and then her mom said they got in a huge fight so i asked what happened, well my friend olivia is a lesbian and more proud then anyone out there. she has the most beautiful face and she wears a mohawk but thats her shes my olivia well her mom isnt fond of it at all and she told her when they go out she couldnt wear it up.well that pissed olivia off bc that was like telling her im embarrassed of you ,you make us look bad mind you the mohawk isnt but 2-3 inches not big at all and she has major depression issues she was on prozac but is now on lexapro bc the other fucked her up worse and so after her mom says this she feels betrayed for some odd reason and then she freaks out and says i fuckin hate you, you bitch i hope you fuckin die which mind you if i were there i wouldve been in my friends face cussing her out you for no reason should say anything like that to your mother she was your way into this world i mean c'mon and then her dad stepped in "you dont need to speak to your mother like that" and once again she says" i cant stand you ,you fucken prick" and it pissed him off so bad he slapped the living shit out of her. well shes runs upstairs mind you shes on vacation with mostly all her family when this happened and everyone is in awe. well later she goes upstairs to check on olivia and finds a hankerchief and its covered in blood it turns out olivia cut herself way too many times but was luckily one of those who got lucky and lived i mean str8 down the wrist and deep and of course olivia isnt yet happy so shes on the balcony and shes talking to her other best friend also mine leah well shes calling her mom every name in the book and so her mom goes out and grabs the phone shes had enough sooooo now olivia cant talk on the phone get on the comp see anyone of her friends which i know will drive her crazy but this all happened bc she had wayy to much freedom but i know shes go more nuts then she is and i told her bc she snuck on not too long ago thats she gives up and is giving in to them bc they wont give up and shes tired soooo her parents wont give her freedom back until shes responsable and all it can take is a week but i mean c'mon that seems like forever when your not allowed to do anything and then i told her ill get her out and go through itt with her i told her i lover her with all my heart and shell never be alone as long as im around but now im stuck with one problem how do i stay on both the parents and olivias good side bc i dont want them to hate me and i dont want her too also but im going to help them solve her problem but i have to be there with her now i feel lost and so does leah bc she said the same thing all i can say is wow i have a fucked up life but yeah there are worse cases out there but i need some kinda advise no matter what it is anything out there will help just if yall joke in it it ll ease me up and i might be able to handle it better im just tired of all the drama i mean really a 16 year old doesnt need this and by that i mean me not her
     
    #1 reecematthew, Jun 30, 2006
  2. Proud1p4

    Proud1p4 Guest

    Well your post sounded urgent so i bit my lip and read it no matter how long...it kinda confused me a bit in places and i think i got a semi-clear idea of whats happening...but can you give me an abridged version of it with the following included:

    -is she still alive
    -is she alone (are her parents watching her)
    -do you have any way of contacting her
    -do you have any way that you yourself can supervise her
    -how close are you with her
    -why is she depressed/suicidal

    Im sorry to pester you with posting again but i didnt really get a clear picture of who this "friend" is (make up a name if you want) or what the situation is. Please seperate in paragraphs so its easier to read next time and try and refer specifically to people not just as "him", "her", "friend" etc. because these are variables that could be associated with many characters and i got confused...(try and clearify some of these in your post too)

    I know that:
    -somewhere in this there's a lesbian
    -someone's suicidal (the lesbian or another person?)
    -someone's mom isnt letting you talk to the suicidal person (?)
    -that someone is on a balcony (?)
    -you texted messaged the suicidal friend and she never answered for days

    And im not trying to be funny...im completely serious thats all i understood


    I'll try and help the best i can but i need some more info first...Blessed Be.
     
    #2 Proud1p4, Jun 30, 2006
  3. reecematthew

    reecematthew
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    olivia is a lesbian, her mother wont let me speak to her, she is alive , best friend sooo really really close , was on a blacony , correct about the not answering texts, shes going to be under constant supervision and not going to be able to be alone anymore she has to earn that right back,no way of contacting not allowed to see h er until she gets her act str8,i cant see her so no i cant supervise and she has a chemical embalance that makes it to where not even she knows why she is depressed she just is.....hope it helps kinda
     
    #3 reecematthew, Jul 2, 2006
  4. zeremonie

    zeremonie
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    Reecematthew, I echo what proud_2b_gay said: It is extremely difficult to read what you wrote (and not to mention that lack of grammar combined with no paragraphs).

    Oliva sounds like she needs you as a friend right now. She's just attempted suicide (if I understood correctly). Is this someone you can just drop in on?

    In real life, I spend a lot of time working in a juvenile court, and I have a lot of teens in difficult situations. Sometimes parents respond to stressful situations by somewhat isolating their children. I know that sounds weird but you said she has to be supervised all the time, and given how extreme her problems are, it wouldn't surprise me (at least from my experience) if the parents attempted to get her professional help - even in patient treatment.

    This may mean that you simply won't be able to be around her until the situation calms down. I know that's tough. Hang in there. Be there for her when the time comes.

    I honestly don't know what you were saying about the best friend - was that Olivia?

    Good luck.
     
    #4 zeremonie, Jul 2, 2006
  5. Proud1p4

    Proud1p4 Guest

    Thank you for clearing things up...ok now i understand...what olivia needs is to rediscover the value of life and feel reassured that her place on this Earth is just as important as you, me or even any other straight ppl in this world (if that is her homosexuality is a problem).

    Olivia needs to hear what the consequences will be if she commits suicide...
    -not on herself, because obviously she doesnt care deeply enough about herself for it to make a difference

    -on you

    -her parents (exclude "parents" if she is currently very angry at them because then she may commit suicide for spite and try and hurt them with her death)

    -on her other friends

    -on the people she might be able to help through difficult times if she survives...with her expierences explain to her she could help so many people out of suicide...this would only really mean anything to olivia if she is:

    A extremely religious (no matter what religion) there is no better intriuge than a higher cause
    B someone who likes to help others (or wants to become a psycoligist etc. the point being that if she's a person who likes to help others this may help her survive
    C she feels she needs a purpose in this world


    You should improvise and try and come up with things to say on your own... but remember to no attack negativly like "this and this god will send you to this and this place for commiting suicde" or "ill hate you forever and wont go to your funeral if you commit suicide" because then she feels alone...which isnt a good thing for olivia. If you must you can say "i love you far to much to let you go without a fight" or "i cant let you do this because i wouldnt be able to live without you" ....something that makes her feel that even if she hates herself to the point of suicide, she cant bring you down with her....use your heart not your imagination or brain...listen to it...even if you say the wrong things...dont fret...hug her...physical contact is of upmost importance...let positivity and love save her.

    If this doesnt suffice or doesnt work...contact me again ASAP and ill assess her current state and give you suitable advice to deal with the situation.
    Blessed be.

    PS: If it gets too far and she's beyond saving from the inside...then hospitalisation is the only choice (dont tell her this though or she'll just kill herself sooner)
     
    #5 Proud1p4, Jul 2, 2006
  6. Link72

    Link72
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    Olivia sounds like an amazing person and I can't really provide an opinion on anything except that she was 100% fair in blowing up on her parents... every single day my dad tells me what a disappointment I am, he makes fun of the things I say, the way i dress and the way I act... i haven't even come out to him yet... when your parents are disappointed in you that sticks with you... it hurts you deeply... when you see her again, show her this message and make sure she knows that she's got an amazing friend that is worth more than revenge on people like them... they're not worth it...
     
    #6 Link72, Jul 10, 2013
  7. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    Please keep in mind that this thread is from 2006 and the original poster (OP) is probably long gone by now.

    This thread will now be locked.
     
    #7 BudderMC, Jul 10, 2013
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