So, I just had a HUGE fight with my father... yes, my father, not my dad. He has had little to nothing to do with me for my whole life. I made the mistake of asking him to co-sign so I could get a car so I could go to work and class and take Lily (My daughter) where she needs to go... He called me about an hour ago and cussed me out for not making the first payment yet. Screamed at me, so I hung up. He called me back and said "IF YOU WERE HERE RIGHT NOW I WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR HANGING UP ON ME!" I unloaded on him, 21 years of him not treating me like a daughter, instead he's treated me like a student or a patient to analyze. Oh, yeah, he's a psychology teacher... I just... I can NOT continue this anymore... Anyone know how I can / should / might be able to handle this? I'm supposed to call him back "Once I have control of myself again" I just can't do this anymore.... PLEASE PLEASE HELP:help::bang::help::bang:
Sorry to hear about the conversation. :icon_sad: Is there anyone else you can get to cosign? Financial necessity is one thing, but sanity is another. You might be able to work to improve things with your father (to what level I'm not certain, as I don't know him), but that will likely take longer than you need for the car loan.
Well, in that case, if he's co-signed the loan, then I'd distance yourself from him as much as possible for a little while, if for no other reason than just to give both of you time to recover from the conversation. It might seem outwardly rude to avoid him after cosigning for you, but in the long-term perspective, forced heart-to-hearts might not be the best idea right now. Are you looking for ways to build a better relationship with him? Or did you just need a name on the form for now?
Well i talked to him again last night and according to him im delousional and hurtful and spiteful and obviously dont care about him
hmm... I dunno what to suggest. Maybe ask him calmly to explain how he thinks you feel. He will either think and end up realising that he's hurt you too. Or maybe he'll say he doesn't care and you can wait for him to finish a rant... maybe record him and play it back to him?
I almost had to close my browser after reading that it made me pretty mad. Did you comment on this? He ignored you your whole life and he's saying YOU don't care about him? OMG... You don't exactly have to rant with him but I can tell you I would NEVER put up with that kind of shit, he had absolutely NO right to say that to you.
I told him I was just reacting to how he had acted my whole life. I'm totally just over him, I can't beleive the way he acted twords me, behaving just like my abusive ex husband then "Well I was just angry" and that's supposed to make it ok? I told him noone was going to talk to me like that ever again, even him. I also told him parents dont speak to their children that way, angry or not... i'm pretty sure he's basically disowning me, and honestly, I dont care.
Yikes, he doesn't sound like a nice person. Check into your car loan because I was able to take my parents off of my loan after I'd had it a certain amount of time.
This guy is a psychology teacher? Physician, heal thyself... But since he's a psychology person, maybe he would agree to talk to you with a counselor to mediate. I think you both need to work on using "I" statements, and expressing your feelings in a non-accusatory way. And without yelling. He definitely doesn't seem to be in any better control of himself than you are. But, you know, bringing up everything he's ever done, or not done, in the history of your life, isn't necessarily the best thing to do. Of course it made him defensive. If you can take responsibility for your part of the argument, he's more likely to admit his part too.
