Masculine Guys

Masculin/feminine are two stereotypes that are applied to us. In practice they don't tend to be things that you can actually apply fully to most gay people. There are a load of feminine guys and a load of masculin guys but the majority of guys are neither, both, more one than the other, etc. People are people, and people are completely different from each other.

You will find somebody who has the same interests and a personality that is compatible with your by accident or through friends. They will not be a stereotype, they will be a person who you like, and most likely, they will not be defined as a person by how masculine of feminine they are.

 

Well, I'm an American, but I think my advice will still apply.

Gay venues have a wide variety of gender expression. So, to the extent that it is ever good to meet people in clubs or bars, you can meet men at gay clubs and bars.

Personally, I don't feel like that's really the best way to meet someone if you are looking for a relationship. However, I think the alternative is to get to know people through activities--preferably something that meets regularly, so that you can get to know people naturally over time. This is very difficult to manage while you are still closeted. But it has the advantage of putting you in a situation to make gay friends.

As you get to know people, don't constantly evaluate whether they are "masculine" enough for you. Instead, just let yourself feel however you feel about them. It may be that you will still only like more masculine men, but don't establish it as a rule in your mind.

It will help you to get to know some gay people on a personal level.

 

Key piece of advice. just keep searching and don't give up. I've spoken to several masculine gay guys just too far away. it will happen man.

 

First of all welcome! Second of all YEY ANOTHER MASS EFFECT FAN!
Coming out to yourself is the hardest step I think. I just came out to myself recently as well. About finding masculine gay guys- there are tuns out there man just keep looking. I feel like there aren't many feminine lesbians either but I'm sure once I start looking I will find one.

 

Hi Flog, congrats on accepting yourself. It may not be the most difficult step for some, but it is always the most important. And we already agree that Mass Effect rocks balls.

I can't give advice on where to meet people for relationships, as I'm horrible at it (both of mine sort of fell into my lap). But just sitting back and reading people, aka scanning with "gaydar" might be marginally effective, especially if you put out some subtle signs yourself that people can pick up.

 

You guys, he hasn't been here since May of 2012 and probably isn't coming back.

 

I finally came out to my best friends just over a month ago. I don't know where I am going...I too like more masculine guys. Its just hard, because how are you supposed to know who is gay (the more feminine guys make it more obvious, no offense intended) Its like another barrier. Not only do you have to find out if someone has feelings for you, you have to find out if it is even possible for them to have feelings for you.

 

I see were your coming from, I too suffer the same fate.

I'm a pretty normal dude, but thats why it is hard to tell someone in real life I'm gay. people just don't see me that way, so I intend to keep it to myself.

Seriously, as a Normal manish guy, I would probably never approach another guy to ask them out. So, I think if you want a Normal acting type guy, you'll probably need to make the first approach. even if they are not interested in dating, they could end up your friend.

Sadly, no guy has ever approached me yet.....they just stare from afar. I really do wish they'ld come talk to me though.

---------- Post added 16th Dec 2012 at 06:55 PM ----------

LOL true, i didn't notice that before.
thanks for the "heads-up"(*hug*)

 

ouch. The post above mine was only a day or so old, but the OP was May. Oops!

It has my vote for being closed.

 

I guess I consider myself masculine, most people look at me and that's what they'd think for the most part. But I have my feminine traits at times. I think we all do. It's just the stereotypical gay in the media is portrayed overly feminine. I can't stand that. But I guarantee that there's PLENTY of gay/bi guys that are just normal dudes.

 

Whereas there certainly is nothing wrong with being masculine and gay - I'm probably in that group - I'm pretty touchy about the use of "normal" to describe such people.

Lex

 

I guess I used "normal" a bit loosely. Some people have the perception that everyday, casual guys or athletic guys can't be gay, but that's obviously not true, that's actually what I was trying to say I guess lol. I think most guys have both masculine and feminine qualities.