In my questioning days, I did a rather extensive amount of research. Something that reccurred in the coming out side of things, which I still wonder about, is 'hinting' at your orientation beforehand.. So that it will come as less of a shovk. I thought about it, but couldn't imagine what it would encompass, other than trying to fit the stereotype, which I don't want to do, so I moved on from there. When I came out to my dad, he told me he was shocked, because I hadn't given him any clues. Reflecting on this, I wonder if I am missing an important factor here. Now I plan to come out on a larger scale in the near future, I feel like there is something I should be doing to prepare everyone.. But what? I haven't got the faintest idea! Thoughts? Ideas?
hmmm...since i haven't come out, kinda hard. but here goes! I posted a rather guyish looking pix of me i got on here on my "female" fb account! the 2 peeps i have come out to, one gay one lesbian, both "liked" instantly. one gal from back in high school posted she think it make me look old, i post good i am old! a guy who is deaf and crushes on me said I'm not old and have nice smile. But a friend who is lesbian told the other girl i came out to that she saw it and thinks i may be a lesbian. So see it can help to come out subtly by randomly posting pix that show the real you. I think my wearing guys clothes may hint to me being different to subtly. Let them ask me!
I was kinda thinking the same thing. Like, should I say something beforehand, or should I keep it as a total suprise? In your shoes, I would probably just be very subtle about it. When people are talking about guys, don't agree, but maybe just go 'Not really my type.' or don't say anything. On the other hand, if you see a girl that looks fit, just go 'She's really pretty,' or something. Not over-the-top, but just casually. Also, try bringing up equal marriage rights in a conversation or something. Not that many people who are straight care about that topic very much, so I guess it might trip the gaydars a little. It is kind of difficult if you don't fit the stereotypes in the first place, lol. Getting the balance right is tricky too-I'm constantly trying to be myself as much as I can, but it's difficult when you're not sure what might give you away. Dunno if this advice is useful or anything, but good luck anyways
This is actually quite a good idea, at least it gets your parents thinking and almost prepares them for it - rather than them being completely oblivious and getting the shock of their life. But then again, if my parents don't know I'm gay, they're so blind. I haven't been in a relationship with a girl for around 5 years (I refused to lie to myself and a girl), I was quite a 'camp' child (I'm not anymore, but I'm also not your stereotypical guy) and finally, I never talk about girls or suggest that I find girls attractive. When I'm drunk, I'm not afraid to check guys out and I think they've noticed a few times. Maybe your should just check out girls around them, idk. xD
Well, with a few of my friends, I just talk about how unlikely it is for me to find a relationship anytime soon, or say that I wouldn't date a girl because "she isn't my type", and also I keep talking to my one friend about how I won't be able to have my own biological children... She just got the hint last night and officially thinks I'm gay. Whoop!
Haha, well, I think many people (including myself) use hinting a bit in the coming out process. I had (still have) a bunch of posters of women all over my room, even before I came out to my parents. I would also subtly though in some rainbow gear into my daily wardrobe. XD Granted, my parents weren't too shocked or surprised when I came out. I don't think hinted needs to be used though. It just depends on the person I guess.
You are thirteen years old. Most people, particularly older people, are not going to be thinking about you having any kind of sexuality. (For the most part, that's a good thing--it would be weird if the grown-ups were thinking about your sexuality.) Therefore, they are going to be kind of shocked when you come out. Also because you are a 13-year-old girl, I don't think rainbows are going to be effective at all. Lots of young girls like rainbows without being gay. Don't worry about shocking people; they'll get over it.
Ok so just to get something clear, I am already out to my family but there's still a bunch of people in school who I need to tell.. Ianthe, I actually think that rainbows would make it pretty obvious, like stuff with gay prideflags on them, as it will probably make them ask sooner or later^_^ But thank you all for the help xx
I don't think you really owe it anyone to have to 'hint' to them about your sexuality. If they guess correctly, good for them! If they never would have guessed, hey, it's not really their concern anyways. Currently my friends and family believe I'm straight. I read books about gays, love any show that has gays in it, and am an avid (and very outspoken) supporter of gay rights/marriage. Will these be hints that people took that I am bisexual? Possibly. Am I worried that they need to see these hints before I come out to them? Not in the least. Again, you don't owe anyone any hints or explanations. Your sexuality is just that, yours.
