I don't understand any of this. I don't know why I suddenly feel like I need to find out. I mean, it's a terrible time to question everything. I'm away from all my friends and family until the end of the summer. I don't have a support base right now (not that I would tell them about this anyway, but just them being around would help.) The really weird thing that I realised today is that I've been considering the possibility that I might like girls and analysing my feelings and asking for help on EC without actually treating it as something that might be real. Sort of treating it like a really intricate and completely theoretical game and something that doesn't actually apply to me. And I don't know why but today I just feel horrible. The curl-up-in-bed-and-cry kind of bad. I don't have any energy and I sort of just want to hide in my room. And the stupid :***: questions won't let up, it's constant. It's not even like I'm purposely dwelling on it; I've got involved in loads of other stuff, I've tried to distract myself and it's not working. I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, sorry for wasting your time.
I'm sorry I can't offer you much advice except I felt that way too (still do sometimes) and here is a e-hug. <3
If you like girls you have to find out on your own. If you told more about your feelings or attractions some people probably could tell you if you were gay or at least bisexual. As you are questioning your sexuality, this may be what you want to be answered, it's what I wanted when I was. But you should keep in mind that in any case, straight, bisexual or homosexual, you can become happy with a partner. I have come to label myself as gay because it is mostly the truth. But for sure, if I feel like I love a woman I won't repulse this feelings and be happy I got the chance.
(*hug*) It's okay to rant. Pretty much everyone on EC went through the same thing at one point. Don't purposefully seek out the questioning, but when it comes, don't push it away. You'll only make yourself more miserable. It's only to be expected that you'll have bad days, no matter how much you try to distract yourself. Not having a support base does make it especially difficult, since talking about it does help. If you have access to a counselor, consider going to see one. EC is also a good place. One thing that helps me on the bad days is looking up as much information as I can on the internet, including other people's stories. It helped me sort out my feelings and find a way forward.
Thanks for the hugs. I really needed them yesterday. I'm feeling a bit better today. I don't have access to a counselor (and probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to talk to one even if I did). I did manage to drag myself to a LGBT youth group meeting recently, with the intention of trying to ask questions about this whole thing, but when I got there I pretty much lost the ability to speak :rolle:- so I guess I'll have to keep bothering people on EC then.
