Gay and Religion

Welcome to Empty Closets! It looks like I have some ground to cover. If you look through the health menu under the "Resources" bar, there is some information on having sex safely that can prevent STD's, HIV, and AIDS.
Next, about the pornography and masturbation. Most people who are against porn are against the idea of people who are being paid to explicitly have sex with each other, another thing is that they most likely aren't married or even in a relationship outside of the recording studio. About masturbation, there is a saying about it: 99% of people have done it, 1% of people lie.
When it comes to religion and homosexuality, I think that we should think about that more. Who are you hurting by loving another man? Nobody. Every single one of the ten commandments are against something that can hurt somebody else in some way. Another thing is that there isn't a commandment that states being homosexual is wrong. Some say that it's under "Thou shall not commit adultery." Explaining that when a man leaves a woman for another man. It doesn't make sense because if you've never loved a woman, or pretended to be straight and then coming out during a relationship, you haven't hurt anybody.

 

I'm more familiar with how gay Protestants handle the conflict between faith and homosexuality than Catholics. There are websites run by gay Catholics that you could contact and ask for advice.

However, I do have some points for you to consider:

In the Catholic Church, it is important to follow the dictates of your conscience. That is to say, it's possible to be a good Catholic even if what you are doing is not approved of by the Church hierarchy.

There are passages in the Bible and the Catechism that disapprove of homosexuality. There are also passages in the Bible (and possibly in older versions of the Catechism) that approve of slavery. The passages that approve of slavery are rather more numerous and less subject to alternative interpretations than those that appear to disapprove of homosexuality.

There are also passages in the Bible and Catechism that speak of the centrality of love and the Golden Rule.

In the Nineteenth Century, American Christians of all denominations began to look at the passages approving of slavery and those speaking of the Golden Rule. And they decided that the Golden Rule was more important, from a biblical and Christian perspective, than the approval of slavery.

At this same time there were Christian ministers saying, "My personal ethics tell me that slavery is an abomination, but I can't reconcile that with the Bible, so I'm forced to say that slavery is okay."

 

You're too young and that's a positive point. You have enough time to start researching and studying more and more about religions and their contradictions. (You've already found one : Homosexuality and Religions) For the first step you should stop repeating "I love my religion" and start to see around with your open eyes. The church is what makes you feel guilty and at the same time you feel like it's comforting you by singing some religious poem? You seriously need to rethink about your beliefs.
Will you be a gay without having sex ? Is it what you really choose to be ? I'm not sure if you'll be able to resist.
And about your mother , I think it's soon for coming out to her when you still have doubts for yourself !
Find a proper anchor and you'll be relieved.

 

Imo, God created all creatures the way that they are and will love them as such. He created you as a homosexual and will accept and love you as one. No where in the bible does it mention gay sexual acts as being a sin.

I am a religious person (was Roman Catholic but abandoned that and now just identify as a Christian) but I believe that sometimes churches over analyze God's word. The bible was written so long ago that it's impossible to live up to its every expectation in today's society. Sorry, not preaching there or trying to force my opinion on you.

Just give it time and know that God loves you exactly as you are

 

Welcome to EC!

Jesus loves everyone. That is the first thing. Also, just because you're gay doesn't mean that you have to give up your religion. My gf is a lesbian Catholic and I've met a few other gay Catholics as well. My gf even managed to find an accepting gay Catholic church (I don't know what the Vatican does or does not know about that. Probably not much).

Regardless, if I were you I would look into my own personal beliefs about the bible and sexuality. You can study what both sides say about the issue and the history of the bible/how it developed. You should google Matthew Vines. It would be a good start. He gave an hour long speech about the bible verses against homosexuality. I would recommend watching it on youtube but you can also read it online. His talk is absolutely amazing. He has changed quite a few conservative Christians' stance on homosexuality

I recommend that you not come out to your mother just yet. There is no rush. I think your time would be better spent learning what you believe about the bible's teachings and becoming confident in your beliefs. That way when the time to talk to your mother finally comes it'll be easier for you to express your beliefs

If you would like to talk anymore on this subject, there are many Christians on here (including me) that you can speak to. Good luck!

 

I'm a gay Catholic! And here's what I believe, despite not being fully out to my church (well not out at all). I believe that Jesus loves all of us, despite our sexuality or what sins we have committed. In my last religion class of this year (btw I go to a Catholic high school), we talked about how if we want to get into the Kingdom of God, we need to pick up our cross and carry it with us. We then talked about how our cross is what will make us suffer for the rest of our lives. Homosexuality is our cross that we need to pick up and be proud of! I hope you keep that in mind.

Hope I helped. And good luck! And I wouldn't mind talking if you need someone to talk to.

 

Gay Christian here It took me a while to accept and reconcile it but I remembered that God made as I am and God loves me as I am It helps to remember that, for me at least, and I'd be happy to talk more if you wanted

 

im a transgender male and protestant. i don't think i can reconcile the two.

 

The two are not mutually exclusive. If you look into the history of the Bible and homosexuality, it's unlikely homosexuality is what was even meant; the translation was inexact and rather poor.
Beyond that, each passage can be dismissed. Sodom is about hospitality, not homosexuality. Look at the story of Levite's Concubine in Judges - it isn't about the ills of heterosexuality. In Romans, it is brought up by Paul and is not the word of God or Jesus. Leviticus, well, you would be quite the person (and likely in jail) if you followed all of Leviticus.
Dan Savage made a rather interesting and controversial speech recently on the Bible and homophobia. While some of it may be upsetting for some, he made a very good point. If we can overlook other things, why is homosexuality such an issue? I rarely see people hating others or praying for those who wear polyester, eat shrimp, and so on and so forth. No one believes a woman is disgraceful if she speaks in church. No expects someone to cut off their right hand if they sin with it. We find slavery to be all together wrong now, don't we? Maybe if you could discuss those points with your mother, it would be something that would make her feel better.
I'm an atheist, but it has nothing to do with my sexuality. When I was a young teenager, I was very mad at religion because it played a part in how I was treated. But I realized it wasn't the religion but some people who claimed to be religious. Religion still isn't for me, but I've realized being queer and being religious are not at odds with each other.

 

I am gay and Catholic, and it caused many years of denial over my own sexuality, although over the last couple of years, I have become more comfortable reconciling the two. I agree with Mogget that you should follow your conscience above all. It has been in courageous Catholics who followed their consciences that have allowed the church to change and to live out the Christian message, which is very simply to love one another.

Consider that the Bible (including the New Testament) condones slavery and capital punishment. Now, the church teaches that every human has an inherent dignity and that slavery and the death penalty are inconsistent with that idea of dignity. Both of those changes have brought the church closer to that central message of love. There are already many theologians and scholars of the Bible who are critical of the current teachings--the video by Matthew Vines referenced above is an excellent and very powerful summary. And I have to hope that some day, the current teachings on homosexuality will change as well to become more consistent with our own human dignity and with Christ's message of love.

A couple of additional resources that you might want to consider are Dignity USA and New Ways Ministry, both of which are affirming organizations that are geared toward Catholics. They have helped me immensely in my own journey.

 

You can't let religious teachings contradict your direct experience of life.

If your Church told you that the sun was cold, or the sea was dry, would you believe it, even if you had swum in the sea and felt the warmth of the sun on your face? No. You would know that it must be some kind of mistake.

When you fall in love, you will know it to be a pure and good thing. Don't let any religion tell you otherwise, any more than you would let it tell you that the sun is cold. There are some things that you know, for certain, from your own experience.

Anyone who tells you that it is wicked to love has been very sadly deceived. Love is the greatest blessing most of us ever get to know.

(On the other hand, you don't necessarily have to give up your whole religion, just because you know that it's wrong about one thing. I mean, the Catholic Church used to insist that the earth was the center of the universe, but they turned out to be wrong about that. Among other things.)

 

Hi, well I have to be honest with you, I am not fond of the Catholic Religion at all. Especially now that the pope said that being gay goes against God and is a huge SIN. In my experience, the religion made everything possible to make LGBTQ community a living hell.

I know how you feel about your religion and please don't get me wrong, I am not saying to change, to get out or what ever. That's still ultimately your choice. But in the past up to the present the church was never for or even with our type of community. They shun it like its the most worst crime that can be committed (Even though they have cause thousands of people to die in the name of the Catholic Religion which by the way is against God's will)

If God really did not like gay people (beside the Exodus part where God warns against it) why would the bible describe at least 2 gay relationships, one of which was King David before he became the king? The problem with the Catholic Religion is that they want to dictate people's lives, how it should be lived and everything. Well all I can say is that God has a big surprise in store for the entire Vatican City which he even said in the book of proverbs, there He stated what will happen to the pop and the Vatican city.

Boy oh boy, I am so glad I am not living in Rome LOL

Any way, what I am trying to say to you, is think for yourself, in your heart you know what to do. One last thing. If God was really against gay people, why are you me, and a whole lot of people born this way, the bible states that God knows you even before you're born. If He was really against it, why would he let us be born gay/lesbian or so on?

 

One day when we do end up chatting privately, I will tell you exactly what I mean, and the catholic religion is in the bile since exodus, just not in the words "Catholic" but in kinds like riddles, but if you match what is said to where the Vatican is, then you know the truth.

About that feeling, hay at least you came out to EC and that is a big step. Now it's only to tell someone closer to you, a friends or so. The first person close in your life you come out to, that feeling you have right now, will be dissolved and replaced with something quite exhilarating!

 

We call that "internalized homophobia." You feel that way because it's what you've been taught, and important people in your life, such as your mother and the clergy of your church, have reinforced the idea. And in some ways, you reinforce it yourself, when you repeat in your mind the things they have said, and when you act like you have something to be ashamed of (such as by keeping secrets).

It goes away when you no longer believe it's wrong, and start acting like a person who isn't ashamed. When you say, "no, I know these feelings are natural to me, and that love is good and right, and I don't believe that God would condemn people for the natural expression of their committed love."

The bible has more than one place where same-sex pairs make lifelong commitments to each other in the form of vows or "a covenant." The bible celebrates their love. So the question becomes,

Would god condemn them for expressing their celebrated love sexually?

(And, there are fairly good arguments for the interpreting the David and Jonathan as having been a couple, in the sense that they were together sexually. But that is the source of some debate.)

But does it make sense to say that Jesus would condemn people for sex who were (otherwise) good people? Like, you give to the poor and are kind to all your fellow man, but you have gay sex, so you must be punished? Does that make sense with Jesus's teaching?

A lot of Catholics feel that their church is a little funny about sex anyway, to be honest. They are still against contraception, even though the earth is clearly overpopulated--they argue that married couples who don't want any more children should abstain. Given the six kids, I suppose your mother probably subscribes to that teaching, but there are lots of Catholics that take it with a grain of salt.

Your mother is the mother. If your reason for not telling her is that it will be too much for her to bear, then you should tell her. You might not tell her, if you think she would reject you or possibly send you to some kind of "treatment" to turn you straight or something. (That kind of thing can cause you very serious psychological harm.) But don't keep it from her to spare her--she can bear it.

If you do decide to tell her, it would be a good idea to have some resources ready for her to get support. PFLAG is a big help to a lot of people. If there is a local meeting, she will be able to meet other parents who have been through the same thing. You can also look up Fortunate Families, which is an organization of families of gay Catholics, and Dignity USA, which is another organization that advocates for gay Catholics.

 

You hit the nail right on head.

 

I agree completely, and there's even precedent in the Catholic Church. There's this great, scholarly book called "Same Sex Unions in Premodern Europe," by John Boswell (who was a gay Catholic scholar at Yale who did a lot of groundbreaking work) that shows that the Catholic and Orthodox churches actually sanctified same-sex relationships about a thousand years ago. It's pretty dense reading, but it's very well done and even reprints the language used in some of the prayers to show how similar they were to prayers consecrating heterosexual unions at the time. While it's disturbing that we have regressed from "the dark ages" in the hierarchy's current lack of acceptance of our commitments to each other, it points the way for our own affirmation even within the traditions of the church.