So, at school, I'm pretty well known to make jokes about my own homosexuality pretty often, but I vehemently deny it whenever the subject becomes serious. But that's not really the big issue. My main problem is that I'm constantly defending equal rights, particularly for the LGBT community, and it feels like if I was just doing so because I'm gay, it would be...bad somehow. I've been a staunch supporter of equality for years before realizing that I'm probably gay, but I'm not sure how my friends will see it, and I'd really not like to allow that to get between us. Also, at least two of my friends are fairly strongly homophobic, but another two or three are strongly supportive, though not to the extent that I am. So, how can I come out with out making what I said feel cheap?
How would it be cheap at all? I mean I can sort of understand what you're saying, but it won't matter. To be honest I think all of that helps so that it won't be a shock to them.
Just point out that you only realized recently that you're probably gay, and that you were all for equal rights before that. You could also make a point of speaking up for equal rights for groups you don't belong to, such as transsexual and genderqueer people (if that doesn't include you), bisexual, asexual, furries... there's no shortage of sexual minority groups you can support.
I was exactly the same. Try to look at it this way. Does being gay mean that you didn't have a valid point? Would being gay mean you don't have a valid point about space exploration or the economy? Just because you have a motive behind your statements now doesn't make them less important. I know the feeling though. I was a little mad about it. "I was doing it because I'm a nice guy. Did I have some kind of ulterior motive the whole time?" Lol. Anyway, don't sweat it. If anyone tries to use that as an argument against what you're saying it means they don't have any valid reasons to deny what you're saying, IMHO. I like to argue, if you can't tell. (Mom always said I should be a lawyer.)
Well being gay means that you have a vested interest in equality for LGBT folk. So if anything that strengthens your point. Because you are fighting to improve your life, and not just some kid taking up a cause in order to cause trouble.
I just want to remind you before anything else, that you come out for your own well-being. You don't do it for your friends, for your "political statement", you do it for you. Because you're unhappy enough not having anyone know that it becomes worth it to tell them. Though, I second a lot of the above advice. If you're standing up for something worth standing up for, it shouldn't matter whether or not you appear "biased" towards the subject. If your friends can think for themselves, they should be able to see that your point was valid regardless of your personal stance (as they do now, hopefully). Realistically, sure, you might rub some people the wrong way with having them think you're only a "supporter" for your own personal gain. But on the other hand, there are those that might just respect you more for having the courage to not only be honest and come out, but to stand up for a group of minorities (yourself included) that many others lack the same courage to do. Good luck, and welcome to EC.
The number one thing not to do when coming out is to worry what other people will think of your advocacy. Just because you benefit from other people treating queers with respect doesn't mean that it's not a cause worth you arguing. Being an interested party doesn't make you wrong.
