So i just finally got over a straight crush after a year. I moved into a new apartment (going to be a a second year in college). I have 2 housemates that I never met before, one guy and one girl. I've seen the girl around a couple of time and I even introduced myself to the guy's girlfriend but never seen the guy until today (one week after moving in). I literally froze when I saw him, he is not incredibly hot but has a very handsome face and glasses lol. However, he is sorta intimidating when I said hey to him (I think he is 2 years older than me and that probably is the reason). I became stutter and looked like a complete idiot when i talked to him. I told myself that he is not going to be home much consider i havent seen him around and this is probably more lust than crush but I just want to know if there is a way if i could prevent a crush from happening. I dont want to go through that hellish year again. We live right next to each other. I know it is pathetic to keep falling for straight guys but my heart just never listen to my brain. Thanks
Keep a rubber band on your wrist and pop yourself everytime you start to consider him in that light, lol. Sorry, that's the best I have. Seriously though, I think you just have to be active in seeking out those that are available. Just to add, I have seen enough posts about these straight crushes to actually consider reclaiming myself as straight just to get a date, hahaha.
Aviod being in his presence, just say you have stuff to do whenever he has to be around. Or, find a reason to dislike him and focus on that. I guess it sounds strange, but it's what I would do.
Trust me, I try looking for gay guys to hang out. But i found out that straight guys are more willing to be my friends than gays. I am not good looking or charming, and hell, being Asian doesn't help either. I am also closet, so are most other gays too. It just easier hanging out with "straight" guys than the outed ones. I wish there is something attracted about me that could at least boost my confidence a bit. Rather than torturing myself like this when I know it just not possible for me to be with gays or straights.
As for not developing a straight-crush on this guy....emotional distance. Seriously. You can be friends, sure. But the reality is, if you let yourself fantasize that it'll be more than that, you're venturing into dangerous territory. And your comments about not having a lot of confidence and being closeted are pretty telling. It seems like a lot of people develop straight-crushes because they're really safe. You know you'll be rejected, sure. But it's not because of YOU, it's because THEY are not gay/bi. When you have a crush on someone where there is an actual possibility of them being into you, then if you get rejected, it's because they're not into you and that's a blow to an already wavering self-esteem. And I know it's much easier said than done to boost one's own self confidence, but once that happens and also once you're out, it's a lot easier to not fall into straight-crushes.
