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My lonely prom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Drakey, May 20, 2012.

  1. Drakey

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    So obviously I wasn't able to get a date for prom this year because the gay guys around here pay me absolutely no attention (I don't blame them!) but I went with a group anyways thinking it might be fun to be with some friends. First off, just about everyone but me and my best friend had dates in the group, and my best friend made me her "friend date". It kinda felt like I was her last resort, like I'm "better than nothing".
    Now there's nothing I'd like more than to be in a happy and lasting relationship which the others in my group had (relationships lasting over a year, that is. we're only eighteen!). Their constant signs of affection made me completely jealous because I know that nobody will ever love me and do those things with me. Then there were the constant gay jokes. I'm pretty much out to everybody, but they really don't take my sexuality seriously because I'm usually single and lonely. I even had one of my friends suggest that I wasn't actually gay because I didn't date, which hurt a little more than it should have.
    When I got to the prom, nearly everybody but me had a date and I felt completely ugly and inadequate next to everybody else. All the boys looked stunning in their outfits, but I just looked awkward and messy. My friends kept trying to force me onto the dance floor but I'm not one for modern dance music, so I mostly was an awkward wallflower.
    Seeing all of those couples together being happy and loving each other made me very depressed, especially when I saw the boy who bullied me for years in elementary school and middle school kiss his girlfriend. When I'm depressed I smoke a lot, so I killed about half a pack of cigarettes outside.
    What this prom taught me was that I'm just not worth a relationship. There are so many more people deserving of that kind of happiness and it just won't happen with me. I can't be happy, smooth, or pretty, like people like to see. All I can be is me and it just isn't enough.
    Sorry I had to rant..felt better to type that all out.
     
  2. Ianthe

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    When I was your age I didn't know I was a lesbian, and I went to prom with a big group, too. A bunch of us didn't have dates, though. I'm glad I did it that way, rather than having some awkward forced romantic situation with someone I didn't really have feelings for.

    I don't know anyone who didn't feel ugly and awkward in high school. It's kind of part of the deal. But I know it can feel terrible.

    Why do you think you aren't deserving? "Smooth and pretty" people are not more deserving than the rest of us, even when they are more privileged.

    You are really very young. It's awfully early to be giving up on happiness, don't you think? Your life has hardly even started yet. And you are so close to such big changes--a year from now, everything will be different.
     
  3. Drakey

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    Everything you say is true, but I feel like even in college and my life beyond this stuff will continue. I just can't see myself ever ending up in a happy relationship :/
     
  4. Zapha

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    Firstly judging from your profile picture there's nothing wrong with the way you look. Looks wise you look above average, so you're fine in that department!

    As for finding someone, I found it impossible to find someone when I was in highschool. It's such a restricting place, and you never really meet new people, like you're stuck with the same people all the time. Once you go to college, you'll have to much more freedom to meet new guys - they'll be a lot of gay groups and organisations that you can meet people through.

    You're only 18 so you have the rest of your life ahead of you, and once you meet a special guy you'll realise that all the waiting and heartbreak was definitely worth it :slight_smile:
     
  5. sguyc

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    Hey my prom sucked too. I went with a girl that I didn't know that well just for the sake of being able to go. Feeling down after an experience like yours is perfectly normal. But high school's almost over, its time to look towards the future. You will probably meet a lot of new people and you will be able to put yourself in more situations to meet gay people, so you will be fine.

    You can tweak your social habits but you probably won't change all that much as a person between now and college (I am assuming that is in your future, sorry if I am being presumptuous). Your opportunities to meet like minded people however will most likely increase greatly.

    You got a lot things to look forward too regardless.
     
  6. julia

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    Oh god no, you ARE most definitely worthy of a relationship, just because a few guys don't pay attention to you now doesn't mean you're never going to find love. You will find someone who loves you for you, don't get yourself down!

    And prom's are usually crap anyways, my junior prom sucked so bad I didn't even go to my senior prom.

    Oh and stop smoking! :wink:
     
  7. Revan

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    Compared to a lot of guys I see these days, you're extremely good looking. And if I lived by you (and perhaps were a bit younger...no offence I just you're 18, I'm 24, we're in different places in our lives, if I were 22 or 20 for sure) I'd date you. So get out of this funk you're in, I truly believe you'll find someone but you need to change your attitude. Trust me, it's those who believe they won't find someone who won't because even if they get in a relationship they wind up pissing the other person off because they keep telling the guy "you're too good for me" which honestly most don't really see as a compliment. If you improve your attitude, which I know is tough, high school as it is is tough and weighs on a lot of peoples attitudes, but if you realize that you are more than worth it, and you will find someone, I promise you, you will.
     
  8. Drakey

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    I suppose it is all about attitude which I need to adjust majorly x.x Thanks for the replies guys :3