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Coming out to parents: "It's just a stage"

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SkyHunter, May 21, 2012.

  1. SkyHunter

    SkyHunter Guest

    So, last week I came out to my parents as pansexual. Everything went great, they told me how much they loved me no matter who I felt attracted to, but there's something that makes me feel insecure.

    The thing is that I'm afraid they may be thinking this is just a stage because I feel attracted to everyone and not a specific gender, sex or whatever. They told me this is usual at my age and that I'll know better about myself when I'm older. While I understand this, as we all have preferences (I feel more attracted to men than any other gender, but I still love these people), I'm worried about what they said.

    I'm thinking in not talking about the "stage thing" with them until I can prove this is not what they think, but what should I do? Maybe looking for more info on the Internet together is a good solution? Thanks in advance :wink:
     
  2. ttmab

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    I can see why they might think that. From their perspective, a concept like pansexuality might not seem as... legitimate?... as being straight or gay, and that sexual confusion isn't uncommon, especially at your age. You may just need a way to convince them that what you're experiencing isn't confusion or uncertainty. I would continue to research it. Maybe you can find something to help explain it to them.
    Hope this helps. I wish I could offer more advice... :/
     
  3. LimePopsicle

    LimePopsicle Guest

    From my own experience (in other words, it's not the best thing to go off of xD), there isn't much to do. But if you're parents are into the facts, the research thing may be the best. But telling them that, yes, you do understand what they're saying, but this is how you feel NOW. And for the time being, it doesn't feel like a stage at all. And pansexuality can be hard to understand (my mon doesn't even get how someone can possibly be bisexual), so that could possibly be a factor in the "it's a stage" theory. In which case, back to the research! All in all, time is what they need. The way a friend put it is, "I took a long time to find out, accept, and come to terms with my sexuality and how I feel, and I'm still needing time. How could I expect anyone to immediately understand and accept what I'm feeling!" She's gives me a lot of wisdom xD
     
  4. Ianthe

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    Just be open with them as you date. As you consistently date in accordance with your stated orientation, they will see that it is not a phase.
     
  5. SkyHunter

    SkyHunter Guest

    Thank you very much for your advice! When I date someone, I'll talk to them about these things again. For now I'll just do some research on the net with them.
     
  6. Young Anonymous

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    Just some hindsight, or for future coming-out's, I would rather say bisexual than pansexual as it's easier to understand for most people. People seem to think pansexual is bogus or that it's just a cry for help for asexuals...

    Whatever :confused: That's just how my friends online have thought of it when I came out to them.