Am feeling a little confused about what i am big part of me thinks that am FTM transgender and small part of me thinks am gender queer... Am only out as gender queer to my husband and sister and a few people at the LGBT Group am a member of My husband is really supportive and understanding about the whole thing ... he said its my choice to make at the end of the day and he still loves me not matter what and i know my sister will be the same... its just my mother thinks that i do things for attention or that it just a phase that am going through she said that to me when i came out as bisexual a few years ago before i met my husband... My mother is homophobic and trans phobic as well as being small minded She says that i should be happy with the way i am and no become something am not... The other problem is that when it comes to me and my husband having sex just now because in a female body we cant have sex if am in a male body because of our past both of us have been abused and anal sex was used as a way to abuse us both we are finding that we cant do it we have tried in the past to and we feel very uncomfortable and its has caused us both to have flashbacks etc so i dont know if me being ftm is going to work or not I just want to feel comfortable in my own body Alexx
I think your last sentence summed this up. You want to feel comfortable in your own body. As easy as this sounds to say, just do it. You will have a hard time feeling happy if you stay with your emotions as they stand, trust me. As for your mother, you might find that her views about certain topics will change if she is put into a corner when someone she knows is transgender, or anything really. Most importantly though, if she doesn't accept you, then that's her fault. Even if she is you mum, why keep someone in your life more than you need to if they are only bringing you down and stopping you from expressing yourself. Finally, I'm not really sure what to say on the sex part, having little experience with that myself, but I suggest that you and your husband see a counselor if you haven't already, but I'm assuming you have. If you can't get yourself to ever do it, then you might have to try a way around it. Find some-other way, as long as it doesn't negatively affect you. That's a bridge you should cross when you come to it. If you got a sex change, it wouldn't be for a while anyway, because of all the prerequisites. Best of luck, Keelin <3
